After 3 1/2 weeks I blew it and called STBX's answering machine and left a message. I was feeling scared and vulnerable and let myself give in to the urge, knowing he wouldn't be home but just wanting to hear his voice. My message wasn't mean or sappy, but I still feel really foolish for calling someone who seems to have moved on with his life like I/"we" never existed. I'm still stunned -and so HURT- that someone who claimed to love me so much just cut me from his life, never calls ... how can he never miss me?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??