Tomorrow we go to friend of the court to see what the referee will make the ass do...He was ordered to provide proof he's keeping up with bills, he hasnt, and he was ordered to stop drinking and intimidating me (the judge let him stay in the house), so he decides to just not come home at all. What do I tell our 4 year old son who thinks his dad is a hero? "Daddy feels HIS life as a chef is more important than us so he wants a divorce"...How am I going to tell my sweet son that soon we wont be living with his dad? My god, if the poor child only knew what his psycho father has been doing to us since November...withdrawing all money, stopping my ATM and debit cards, taking credit cards from me, screwing around with who knows who...and now my son has been sick, has had blood in the stools and I didnt have the money for the doctor co pay or the medicine so what did jack ass do...called his mommy and had her pick it up and drop it at the door...I am so pissed that he and his family think all this crap he has done is okay. We dont even have groceries in the house, the judge ordered him to give me $100 a week for gas and groceries...what the hell, my car takes $60 to fill and I have to transport my son to preschool 3 days a week. We are suffering the affect that my jack ass husbands behavior has caused. I keep thinking to myself, "why cant he just SEE what he is doing?" "Why cant he see that he is hurting his son too, not just me?" How can he not see it after I have tried for 5 years, crying, writing letters, telling his family about his abuse, and now he has gone off his rocker and his family shows up in court to support HIM...How? Please someone tell me, I just dont get it. I have no family here to help me and i just dont understand...I keep going back and forth between "what did I do that was so wrong to make him do this" and "I hate him so much, how dare he". I know in my mind its not my fault, but we have a child...he refused to go to marriage counseling, to listen to me...Help!!!!!
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