Hi everyone it has been a while since I have posted anything. I am a single Mom with 3 children 16,15 & 13 and I am going to school full time to be a nurse. With all of that on my plate I still feel like crap most of the time, not good enough Mom, or wife- my husband would want to be with me and our kids if I were a better mom, and not the best student. I have been married for 16 years. I though I was safe from divorce but here I am. I had got to a point with my husband where I didn't think about him as much. Then acouple of months before our anniversay I recieved a call from him saying that he missed his family and that he want to move where we are and work on our marriage. I fell for what he was saying. That he loved me and was willing to do what it took for our marriage. He said exaclty what I wanted to hear. Let me give you a little back ground about my husband. He is an alcoholic and has been in and out of jail and recovery centers. 1 year ago I found out that he was living with someone that he meet at a meeting and he was "in love" and didn't care about me anymore. When he started calling me he was in another program and him and this girl broke up and he said he didn't want anything more to do with her. I was willing to work on our marriage but I don't trust him and he would have to prove alot of things to me and our children before he moved back in and we were a couple. Let me add that we are still married our divorce has not gone through yet. So we were talking everyday and were getting along good up until then we had not talked for months and he had not called our kids for 3 months. Well everything changed again when on my anniversay I recieved a email from gfriend asking me what is going on between me and my husband so I told her we were working on our marriage. She told me they were getting back together, so I called him and told him about email and he was mad and told me that it wouldn't work out between us because I have an attitude because I won't just resume a marriage with him. Then she sent me and him an email letting me know he had cheated on her with someone else in the program?? But that he is her Soul Mate, and that she knows he loves her. So now present day occassionally he sends me AA saying, I don't know why but we have no communication other than that. He calls the kids when he needs a pick me up not when the kids need him. Two of our children refuse to talk to him only our baby will talk to him. With all of that being said I went through a phase after the email of screw him, I don't want him anymore but there are days like today where I feel lonly and I don't understand how he can choose someone else over his family. I wonder if he is still drinking, and will I get a call from him next time they breakup saying he wants to get back together. I feel very lost and alone. I live in a place where there are not alot of people who are like me, single with children. Thank you for listening
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