Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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feeling abandoned

deleted_user
deleted_user
My major depressive episodes have contributed so much to this break up. I know that I was impossible to live with for a while.
I am in counselling, psychotherapy and on drugs that actuallywork for me (imagine that).
What I do not understand is why my husband cannot at least give me a chance when I am better. He has not seen me well in so long. I have asked him to try to get back together when I am recovered from this episode. The psychiatrist said that I may never have another depressive episode again.
Husband said no. So I feel abandoned. This is not what marriage is supposed to be like.
He does not know what he is losing. All he sees in me is this illness.
If truly he does not want to try again and see me for who I am he will be making the biggest mistake of his life.
I will no longer pursue him or attempt to convince him to give it another shot.
keepthehope
keepthehope
You have overcome many things within yourself as have I, but the hard way through my own will power which at times waivers. I find it extremely hurtful that I have went through all the soul searching and confrontation of childhood issues that impacted my adulthood. I think when you have tackle things within your self and realized you have accomplished a lot and they do not want to try again then I am to believe the problem is within them now. They have issues that they need to deal with. But they can not see it in themselves. They were and are willing to point out our faults but fail to see there own. You and I have addressed our issues, unfortunately we have new issues as far as them not committing. Hang in there you are doing so good for yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Screw him.

Do not cast your pearls before swine.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I live with some one who was depressed for a long time. My stbx was hospitalized and then put on many different drugs. I stayed through all of that but it was not easy and not every one can put up with handle or just live around it. Its not something I would recommend to some one but it just shows that he never had the committment to stick it out. So better to find out now then later.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe he feels like my wife. She tells me it is hard for her to imagine a future with me because all she knows is the past. I think when they reach this "I am done" point they basically close their eyes to any changes that you are making. It is a very frustrating position to be in. Keep working on yourself and even if he does not notice the "new" you, someone who appreciates you more may down the road. Hang in there!
deleted_user
deleted_user
that's right Wick, is not easy and I understand that he had to leave. What I don't understand is not even considering getting back together now that I am almost out of the woods, finally. Yes, you are right, he does not have the commitment or emotional maturity it takes. I know now that I can get out of it and I will, with or without him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dave, true enough. My counsellor said that he is completely blocking the good memories and is only able to recall the bad.Apparently, with time, sometimes, they are able to open themselves up for the good memories again, but i am not holding my breath.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am afraid my ex had similair problems to you. All I can tell you is what he might be feeling. He is probably feeling very hurt, sad and powerless. Sometimes we hope for a long time that things will get better and it becomes harder every time it starts to then doesn't. We lose hope and we attribute hope with pain. My wife went into counselling and asked for another chance and I couldn't do it...I still can't. He will be just waiting for the next time you screw up and it will get worst. Try asking to be his friend but keep working on you. Send him a text once a week just to say Hi. Don't tell him you love him because it will tear him up inside. He probably feels more guilty than you think.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Alex, I feel abandonded too, but I am slowy beginning to realize that his walking away from me, before I lost all trust and faith in mankind, is the one kindness he's done me in this relationship. May him saying "no" is your lifeboat~~~~~~~
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