im just feeling sad at this moment because a few of my friends % just people i know split with their partners around the same time as i split with my fiance, over the last week or so iv heard every one of them have heard from their ex,s, most of them showing signs that they want to go back to them but i feel left out because iv heard nothing. they,ve all been ringing me or txting me to tell me their news & although im happy for them that they,re all feeling better about things, im not, id love my ex to try to contact me but i havent had a call for 4 weeks. thats the longest we.v ever not spoke. i cant contact him because he now has a gf (an ex) OUCH. im sick of myself feeling like this & im sick of looking at my phone to see if he,s phoned. i cant switch it off incase my daughter needs to contact me, even when i switch it off i keep switching it on to see if he,s txt me. im sick of my mind twirling round with thoughts of him, iv tried to do things to distract myself but the thoughts dont budge, i cant concentrate long enough on anything long enough before he interupts my thoughts again. cant get to speak to a therapist here in the uk brcause the waiting list is a year long. iv been given antidepressants by my doctor to stop the anxiety, they just take the edge off. getting help with anything is free in the uk & thats why the waiting lists are so long. i dont want to feel like this any more.
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