i know how u feel believe me, this is the first time in my adult life ive been alone.

Been there myself, not something to look forward to, is it? My wife continued living at the house for three months until she saved up enough money to move out. What an awkward three months THAT was!

I had two things going in my favor that helped me (1) my daughter who still spends most of her nights at the house with me and (2) I purchased a new computer and had it arrive around the same time she left...as something to distract me and keep busy.

I know its really hard though, I had a tough time staring at the empty side of the bed for weeks on end. You'll get through it, the rest of us have...you will too, just gotta believe that. My best wishes to you.

My husband has only been gone a few months and after 20 years of having him there I still cant believe it! I would put the pillows down the bed beside me, but I know he's not coming back and after all the lies I wouldn't have him back, but still doesn't make it any easier. As my eldest son said to me... "It's like you are in a long dark tunnel, now is not the time to look behind you to what has now gone, but to move forward along the track towards the light at the end." although this had me in tears, coming from a 17 year old I thought was wonderful.

Hang in there, we have all been there, and most of us still are. I know I jump onto the DS site. It helps me a lot, I can get through the day, and usually the nights too!

Hugs

Sorry you're going through this. I have delt with anxiety quite a bit but I haven't had a bad experience like you mentioned. I have been taking medication for it for the last 3 or 4 years and it has helped a WHOLE lot. Remember the feelings are all in your head. If you need to, you might want to see a good psyc. I did and he started me on the medication.

I can't imagine anything more scary than the work I have ahead of me. Waking up alone, doing things for and by myself, figuring our what I enjoy doing and focusing on me instead of my wife. I envy selfish people!

I really think I felt better after I moved out - it was so uncomfortable living with him knowing we were seperating. I had to take medication for anxiety attacks, but I am better now and hopefully you will be too!
Just know we are all here for you.

This is my first time living alone too. I have to admit that I like it but at the same time I hate a quiet house. The sound of empty is a harsh sound sound. I never doubted that I would be ok. I was born alone and I'll die alone. I am fearless. Unless you learn to be alone you'll always be needy, leading you to make some bad decisions.

the journey from abandonment to health by susan anderson is exactly what this is about. i found it from ds and think its a must for my library.

Yep, major abandonment issues here. That is why my H's favorite trick was to walk out on me when he was mad and stay away, silent and inacessible, for days on end. Finally, I said enough.

This is a kind of post traumatic stress disorder. You need to learn about it and get therapy. What you do in the meantime is watch TV, get around people, sleep over at someone else's house some time if you can. A pet is good. Hey, I've even used teddy bears and night lights. Deep breathe and relax. Listen to the radio with an earplug when you go to sleep.

Stay on this board and obsess. Reading about other people's problems and sharing your experiences helps a lot.

I hate this hollow feeling. There is no one to hold onto as I fall. No one to catch you.
However, I no longer want my stbx to even try. I dont seek her out for comfort, it's like we're two roomates with kids. Sad!!!

Yes, please read "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing:" Susan Anderson

http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Relationship-Beginning/dp/0425172287/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-7652555-1158321?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193352860&sr=1-1

It is the first thing that really made Sense to Me.

Yes, I felt that and I am still feeling that. It gets a wee bit better each day though.