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I gave her an article today that was is the Newspaper, NY Newsday to be exact, that was about people who have been married for over 40 years. These two guys went across country interviewing couples and seeing how they did it and what the secret was. I even highlited a part that hit home, it stated:
"Love doesn't go away....It may become more obscured by problems and arguments and issues to work out, but once you work them out, you find that you're just as much in love.
I really hope this gives her something to think about but I am probably just hoping for magic.
If you have a chance it is an article worth reading.
"Love doesn't go away....It may become more obscured by problems and arguments and issues to work out, but once you work them out, you find that you're just as much in love.
I really hope this gives her something to think about but I am probably just hoping for magic.
If you have a chance it is an article worth reading.
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Good luck, I wish you the best.
I also was at a seminar and they talk about 4 zones: Zone A is the comfort zone, you like what you are doing, have many ideas of what to do, and just feel good about the whole thing. Zone B is the problem zone, thing happen that you didn't plan, you make regrets, and just hate being there. And Zone C is the success zone. It is smooth sailing from there. The problem comes in where people dont want to work through Zone B and give up, falling into Zone Q which is the quit zone. And what tends to happen is the A-B-Q zones become a cycle. So getting through the problem times is the best option, to get to that success you really want....
I hope that made sense...lol...They showed us a diagram, that I cant draw here, but that really helps the visual.
But, I also know that if both spouses are commited to working out their differences, yes, the love is still there and growing and changing. I read a book a long time ago called "seasons in a marriage." or something like that. Talked about how love changes. It was a while ago.
I hope you have better luck.
If you can't talk her into trying LOVE again, an article out of the paper is danm sure going to do.
THAT FALSE HOPE SHIT WAS MY WORST ENEMY AND STILL SOMETIMES IS!!!!!!!!!
This is just my take.
I know over 18 yrs of marriage, there have been times when our love was obscured by the problems and once we were about to work them out, feelings returned to normal. But there are typical, run-of-the mill martial problems and then there are major problems that usually mean the kiss of death to a marriage. Of course, infidelity, alcohol & drug abuse, physical abuse are the biggies. But some of us here have suffered from years of disrespect, hostility, verbal abuse or just plain neglect. Those types of problems are very hard to overcome and eventually love will go away and not return. Just my experience.
True unconditional love comes after 20 years of marriage, first you have to get over all the problems and so forth.
Only once you have truely excepted someone with all their bumbs and scrapes, ignore thier annoying habbits and come out the other side without resentment and so forth does true love blossom.
Not being in a relationship that long, but felt that this is how it was going for me...obviously not for him.
Sorry, bad morning, I hope this day gets better.