That is so true. Sometimes I feel I have fallen out of love, and realize I still love him, or I wouldn't be here still. But all the added stresses pull me away and seem to make him a jerk sometimes.
Good luck, I wish you the best.

I agree with you Jeffny. I wish my husband did but he feels that love with be easier with the new flirtation.

One day they will realize that the love that they gave away was more real than anything that they think will make them happy for the moment. Love is easy in the beginning but only with work and effort can it last the days to come.

I also agree with you jeffny, but some people believe the grass is greener on the side and not want to work through hard times.

I wish you the best and hope that your wife comes to her sences for the sake of you and your beautiful children

I agree with lookingforinformation about the grass isn't greener on the other side,,,there is just different problems.
I also was at a seminar and they talk about 4 zones: Zone A is the comfort zone, you like what you are doing, have many ideas of what to do, and just feel good about the whole thing. Zone B is the problem zone, thing happen that you didn't plan, you make regrets, and just hate being there. And Zone C is the success zone. It is smooth sailing from there. The problem comes in where people dont want to work through Zone B and give up, falling into Zone Q which is the quit zone. And what tends to happen is the A-B-Q zones become a cycle. So getting through the problem times is the best option, to get to that success you really want....
I hope that made sense...lol...They showed us a diagram, that I cant draw here, but that really helps the visual.

I agree with you Jeffny!! Thats why when we are hurt by our spouses we still love them! But I DO know that in many cases love isnt enough. (Like in infidelity and abuse cases. Those are the only two reasons why I would willingly walk away from a marriage.)

But, I also know that if both spouses are commited to working out their differences, yes, the love is still there and growing and changing. I read a book a long time ago called "seasons in a marriage." or something like that. Talked about how love changes. It was a while ago.

I found as many articles and information that I could possibly find in the beginning of our split so share with my husband trying to convince him we were worth fighting for. He never bothered to look back or any other way but full speed ahead into his girlfriends bed.

I hope you have better luck.

I totally beleive this...I wish my STBX did.

I guess it's been a different experience for me. In my case, in both marriages, my love for my husbands went away. It died completely. This is something that I know for sure in my heart. And like anything else that has died (or has been murdered) it can never be resurected.

Man Jeff,

If you can't talk her into trying LOVE again, an article out of the paper is danm sure going to do.

THAT FALSE HOPE SHIT WAS MY WORST ENEMY AND STILL SOMETIMES IS!!!!!!!!!

This is just my take.

I do believe you can work hard to get through some bad times with love still waiting in the wings. But sometimes all the trying in the world, all the hope and time and counselors and books just can't make you love someone when your love has been so irrevocably damaged that it's gone. And when the love is really gone, there's no trying in the world that will bring it back. I spent 19 years!!!!! telling my husband what I needed and wanted, spent 3 years begging and crying and pleading and being made to feel like I was crazy, and now I'm suddenly attractive again, suddenly the one he wants, and he's become the most helpful attentive husband there is- but it's just too freaking late!I wish with all my heart it was different, but I don't think you can say that love is obscured by the problems and it'll still be there, I thought if we'd work through our problems we'd find our way back to each other, it just isn't so.

I agree with Baybrat and Cinaflower on this. For me, there is a certain point where so much damaged has been inflicted that my feelings of love are gone and they are not coming back.

I know over 18 yrs of marriage, there have been times when our love was obscured by the problems and once we were about to work them out, feelings returned to normal. But there are typical, run-of-the mill martial problems and then there are major problems that usually mean the kiss of death to a marriage. Of course, infidelity, alcohol & drug abuse, physical abuse are the biggies. But some of us here have suffered from years of disrespect, hostility, verbal abuse or just plain neglect. Those types of problems are very hard to overcome and eventually love will go away and not return. Just my experience.

My mum once gave me a wonderful peice of inside info (my parents are the most in love together couple in the world)

True unconditional love comes after 20 years of marriage, first you have to get over all the problems and so forth.

Only once you have truely excepted someone with all their bumbs and scrapes, ignore thier annoying habbits and come out the other side without resentment and so forth does true love blossom.

Not being in a relationship that long, but felt that this is how it was going for me...obviously not for him.

I have to agree that there's a difference between "problems, arguments and issues" and actions and words that cross a line and break your heart. Love can even take a lot of that. Even now I don't think the love is completely dead - but I don't think it's enough. There's nothing more miserable than loving someone who doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated and doesn't see why he has to. That's something there shouldn't be much argument about - you can't work your way out of your needs of the heart, or be talked out of them, and attempts to do so just make it all feel worse.

Sorry, bad morning, I hope this day gets better.