I'm living with my new boyfriend... I had an affair with him (that's not why the marriage ended, it was over before then)... and didn't have anywhere else to go when we split up, so I moved to Nebraska to be with my boyfriend... well, I use the term boyfriend loosely... I don't know what to do... I'm falling head over heels in love with him... yet I don't really know how he feels towards me, and I don't want to ask because I don't want to put him on the spot... part of me suspects he doesn't really have the same feelings for me that I have for him. He realizes I'm falling in love with him, he told me so... but he says he feels guilty sleeping with me... that this isn't right, isn't "proper"... it was eating at me yesterday so I finally brought it up, asked what's so wrong about us being together... he said that was a loaded question... told me it goes against what the program (AA) suggests, that he doesn't want to have to lie to his friends if they ask if we're sleeping together... that when I came out here we agreed this isn't about sex, that it was about getting my life on track...

So although it isn't *about* sex, which it's not, does that mean we can't have sex? Does that mean we can't be together? I mean, yes, the main reason for coming out here was for me to get my life straight, but can't I Have the added bonus of a relationship too???

I dunno, I hate this whole situation. I hate thinking he only loves me as a friend, he signed my valentine card with "Thanks for the friendship".

Wondering if he regrets taking me in, he says he's glad I'm here though, that it makes him less lonely...

I want to be able to be with him and him not feel guilty or feel that it's not right...

I guess I should just take it as it comes though...