Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
You know just when I'm getting used to the thought of her betrayal, now she denies the hole thing. She called me the day after thanksgiving while I'm at work ready to talk "business".
After she verifies our arranged child support payments. She proceeds to politely ask me to meet downtown sometime to sign divorce papers.
Dammit!
She knows I'm not convinced of irreconcilable differences. We haven't spoken for more than 5 min but once without her raising her voice and attacking me. I would like to be convinced our marriage cannot be reconciled before I sign divorce papers saying our marriage is irreconcilable.
Now to top it all of with a cherry after hanging up on her 6 times before each time begging her to not make me hang up, just talk to me later. She sends a psycho message saying not to contact her but only for the children per lawyers motion. So stupid there has no motion put in my hands and I don't have counsel (yet). She has never been a good thinker, but her misuse of legal jargon to intimidate me is ridiculous. She keeps bitchin she has a way to do it free. SO.
Im thinking of calling her family to do a sort of intervention. I have been leaving her alone called her once every week. For the children as per her motion (lol) but that only leaves me seeing them for a few hours every few days. This is not fair to me or them. Just for ground rules for if she want to talk, and otherwise. Actually I just realized restraining orders and such cant distinguish between calling for the kids or not just all or nothing like her. God why cant she just be upset (for whatever irrational reason) why does she always have to figure out just how to make this even worse than it already is. You would think Ive been doing the signature crazy husband stuff. Showing up at her door, or job. Calling her everyday saying baby baby please come back blah blah blah talking to all her friends and family to win them over or make her look bad. Then when ever I do stuff like that she should treat me like this. But this is crazy I havent, I feel like I cant do anything right. I sit in my little apartment lonely and Ive recently gotten to the point where I dont bug her or my friends anymore I can think to myself and feel better. But nothing matters! My children and I are F#@$#@$ed. Cause it all depends on this deranged person. If she is so over me, why cant she just be civil! Im the one with a broken heart.
After she verifies our arranged child support payments. She proceeds to politely ask me to meet downtown sometime to sign divorce papers.
Dammit!
She knows I'm not convinced of irreconcilable differences. We haven't spoken for more than 5 min but once without her raising her voice and attacking me. I would like to be convinced our marriage cannot be reconciled before I sign divorce papers saying our marriage is irreconcilable.
Now to top it all of with a cherry after hanging up on her 6 times before each time begging her to not make me hang up, just talk to me later. She sends a psycho message saying not to contact her but only for the children per lawyers motion. So stupid there has no motion put in my hands and I don't have counsel (yet). She has never been a good thinker, but her misuse of legal jargon to intimidate me is ridiculous. She keeps bitchin she has a way to do it free. SO.
Im thinking of calling her family to do a sort of intervention. I have been leaving her alone called her once every week. For the children as per her motion (lol) but that only leaves me seeing them for a few hours every few days. This is not fair to me or them. Just for ground rules for if she want to talk, and otherwise. Actually I just realized restraining orders and such cant distinguish between calling for the kids or not just all or nothing like her. God why cant she just be upset (for whatever irrational reason) why does she always have to figure out just how to make this even worse than it already is. You would think Ive been doing the signature crazy husband stuff. Showing up at her door, or job. Calling her everyday saying baby baby please come back blah blah blah talking to all her friends and family to win them over or make her look bad. Then when ever I do stuff like that she should treat me like this. But this is crazy I havent, I feel like I cant do anything right. I sit in my little apartment lonely and Ive recently gotten to the point where I dont bug her or my friends anymore I can think to myself and feel better. But nothing matters! My children and I are F#@$#@$ed. Cause it all depends on this deranged person. If she is so over me, why cant she just be civil! Im the one with a broken heart.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
but to allow them to affect their own...you can spill all your anger, love and frustration here or to your close friends, that's why they and us are here for, but the moment you are facing her, try to be at your very best - this way you'll show her what she is loosing
You cannot swim up for air if you don't let that anchor go. She is not the anchor, your feelings of maybe working it out with someone who has betrayed you and continues to disrespect you. That is what is holding you down.
I think alot of us deal have anxiety when the relationship is over because we are not sure we can do better than the person we were with.
If you were driving a KIA and you knew you were leaving the KIA for a BMW I don't think you would say oh but I love this KIA. It's similar with this relationship. If you knew someone better was waiting for you, you probably would have signed the papers already.
Love yourself enough to let go of someone who is damaging you.
We are also afraid to have to start fro scrach. If you try to force the issue she will resist it even more. She feels like staying together ro coming back to you has to be HER idea.
There is nothing sexy about a doormat. I've been one in the past and the girl always leaves because she knows she can play the field and you'll still be around.
If you let her go and continue to be the best father you can be. She will realize that she has lost a good thing. Especially when you pain is over and you begin dealing with peple that really love you.
One person can't fight for a marriage, it's a team fight and if she isn't willing to fight for it, it will not work.