I fake it each and every single day. I go to work and I smile and tell everyone that everything is hunky dorey. I go shopping and no one has the slightest idea that I am hurting. It is called putting on my game face. Only once did I let it show through the other day at work. For some reason I just started thinking of her and started crying. The gal next to me noticed and was asking me what was wrong. I just shook my head and said nothing. Don't think she was ready for the non-reader's digest version. . .

I am no good at "faking" it. I know that most people have to work and interact...and I will have to do that very soon, too. But, I have been able to just Sit Here and do everything in private.

Today, when we were leaving the Restraunt, a wedding party drove in. Signs and streamers...the whole thing...I am afraid I was a bit childish. I just wanted my Truck, and I wanted it right then and there. I didn't Want to see happy people.

Knowing they are out there is enough. Having to actually look at them is just asking too much of me, right now.

I fake it most of the time too. At work, most people know what's going on, but I don't think any of them really get it. None of the people I work closely with have been through this, and I suspect that they think I should be "over it" by now.

Last week I had a bad day where I snapped at a co-worker, and ended up taking the afternoon off because I just couldn't do it that day.

It's exhausting (to me) to have to keep up this pretense of everything being fine when inside I'm either crying or screaming. Or both.

I really need to get to that day when I don't have to fake it any more.

Yes, I fake it too. Then again I have been doing that for years now. I faked it every single football game and practice of my 6 yr olds this season. I felt so bad that he was the only kid there who didnt have his dad there to watch or cheer him on. I think I looked too far into it though because although i felt like hell through that it never seemed to bother my son a bit. He never mentioned anything or felt alienated, Thank God!

Sometimes I'm really great at hiding behind my smile, other days, I stay hone, secluded out of fear of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Of course, I'm not working, so it's much easier to not have to hide behind the smile. Those days are quickly coming to an end however...

Do you think we are the ONLY ones faking it? I certainly don't. I love to watch people. Like the couple in the grocery store, as she's asking his opinion on steaks his eyes are undressing every woman in the meat dept. Or the doting young wife on her older husbands arm..as he chats away with a colleague, she's flipping her hair and puffing out her boobs for every man in sight....oh yeah...strange tequila nights!

I'm with you on how you feel. I feel like such a looser right now not only because of the x but other things as well. I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, people read me like a book no matter how hard I try.

I'm also dealing with feeling like a yoyo. He can't make up his mind and I'm getting tiered of him holding me on this string, but I can't seem to find the scissors. I want to be the woman I was before he became confused, stressed and filled with guilt because of his mother, she fills him with guilt saying "i'm not going to be alive long..I'm getting old". I know I don't want a mama's boy but for some damn reason I can't friggin let go.

I just want to scream but I have no down time, there's always some one or something requiring my attention and yet I'm still not side tracked or able to get him off of my mind for a second.

O well, enough whining for now. lol
Whining is so not me until this happened and I don't like this about me right now.
maybe this should have gone else where. lol

I definitely have to fake a lot of things but not in a bad way. The only people that can understand what pain this is would be someone who has lived it. It has been a learning experience for me as well. THere are also people who I do not notify about the divorce because I am so sick of hearing about it. Hows the family? " Oh everyone is just fine". That is actually the truth so I do not feel bad about holding back information.

That's true, been "faking it" for so long...hold that head up, smile now-a client is looking, of Course life is Great...

Yes, the new office building will be wonderful...WTF New office building...

Yeah, this really is better for me. Once again, I am sorry and bow out. I only miss a shadow, not a reality.

my parents never taught me how to lie, never learned how to fake anything.

I talk to people about MS and LDN when the topic comes up. I tell people about my split now, didn't for 13 months, but since I Had to move to a new place on my own I figured it was time to come back to the world of the living.

Speak up when you're in public, why not? If you feel you should be, then go for it. Who cares what others think? Let them scurry away from overload than boredom :)

Maybe it was my Not going with the Program that landed me out alone and on my own. When the family events were no longer satisfying I didn't want to go to them any more, missed a few in the recent times, so now I'm missing them all.

I don't miss 'em though.

Smile to others, say hi. Go back the last moment you lived with your parents and continue your life from there.

Except now we can stay Home and NOT be ALONE! There's more of a universe in this here internet than there ever was on my CB or out my front door where I grew up in a 23 building, 8 stories each, 8 families a floor housing project.

Different world nowadays, more people are our fingertips than ever before.

Strange how we all don't contantly run into people we know. Seems like when I go through things I go through them alone. I have MS yet don't know anyone Now with it. I'm separated and suddenly I only know married people.

Okay people, Choose your additude. Don't fake it be yourself. Wake up everyday and think that today WILL be good. If things don't turn out that way then do something or think of something positive. We all have things on our mind to keep us unhappy, lets all try to think of the good things and when you fact that wonderful couple holding hands and being happy just remember they could be faking it also. It is easy for me to say all fot his today because I wanted to have a good day. I will do the same thing tomorrow and take it one day at a time. Easier said then done but it is possible.
Choose your additude! Make it a good one and go on from there.

I faked that I was okay for a long time. I had days that I just couldn't though and I wore my sadness and hopelessness on my sleeve. I felt like if I was pretending to be happy maybe it would rub off on me. Eventually your real feelings shine through.

so can/do women Fake It easier? are they just used to faking LOTS of things, what's one more? LOL :)

good post FL :)

sometimes I think you just have to "Fake it to make it" and other times you just have to let your hair down and be yourself. Thank God for DS!

well sometimes I don't think faking it is the answer as much as stuffing it deep down and not letting it out to the surface. It seems easier to do that rather than wear it on your sleeve.