I am not going to "be okay".
My kids are not going "to be okay".
That is the biggest fucking crock of smoke and mirror, pump you up, everything is fine...happens for a reason... line of bullshit I have ever heard. If everything was okay and going to be okay, we wouldn't all be on this site, in therapy, taking meds, drinking or whatever other form of escapism "treatment" we are using to deal with the fact that our lives and more importantly those of our childrn have been savageously destroyed.

RoB: I know your pain..I am sorry.You may not be okay..but that's YOUR choice! You can chose to be the victim or you can choose to be the victor! I choose to be victorious!I hope you can find that too someday!

First you post these stats, realizing the tremendous negative impact upon children, including your children. Then you proclaim victory...are you kidding me?

That's right asshole...because i CHOOSE to not let them be effected(as much as possible)..i CHOOSE to love them..I CHOOSE to be there for them.I CHOOSE to accept nothing less than the best for me or my kids! I am NOT giving in... or giving up.I't s called positive reinforcement!It's called thinking positive.Jack ass!

We have to quit f'n whining..quit making excuses why we can't do this or can't do that and don't take this lying down! We have to climb the highest mountains..swim the deepest seas.But for Gods sake..we ahve to quit being a freaking VICTIM.No ones gonna feel sorry for you or for me.No ones gonna care at the end of the day about anyone other than themselves.You ARE your hope..YOU are your own voice.YOU lead the way.YOU become accountable.YOU overcome adversity..Anyone can roll over and die..that's easy enough! Takes real heart to withstand the pain..endure through the guilt..and fight through to the end.Battered ,scared,and bleeding i may be..but i will be victorious! She may have won the battle but i will win the war! Bank on it! _Savery1

Rob: Please forgive me..i was wrong to call you an asshole.It's been a trying day..and i let my emotions get worked up.I didn't message you because i wanted it to be public.Again..i am sorry.
I don't know your pain..but i do know mine.It's been almost a month since i have seen my son..not real long compared to some..but an eternity for me.I wish you the best!
_Savery1

All stats are just a figment of imagination. I have two sons, one was old enough to make his own decision in my divorce and CHOSE not to have any contact with the ex or his family,, this son is very well adjusted, happily married and in Medical School. The youngest was FORCED to have constant contact with the ex and has been involved with drugs,kicked out of two high schools and is barely making it and hates his father and his fathers family. Says they destroyed his childhood!
Don't tell me that those stats are true! It depends on the custodial parents and what they are willing to do to make sure the kids are well adjusted! Aloneinut... Do NOT feel quilty,, be the best mother/father you can be! My oldest son still to this day honors me on mothers and FATHERS day,, told me I was the best father he could have ever wished for!
My oldest son was old enough to witness the abuse... He hated his father and had absolutely nothing to do with me!!
Stats do not matter is all I can say! They are BS...

Wow!!

The validity of "stats" can be questioned and SHOULD be.I can "turn on the lights and watch the roaches scatter" and than deal with the fact that even though i i hadn't noticed them before..they are there.It seems the question of the impact of divorce on our children is "hidden" too.The exact numbers CAN be debated but as i said before...the reality is that there IS an impact and "turning off the lights" doesn't make that impact any less.
_Savery1