Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have not called my ex since July. It's been a real struggle fighting the urge to call him. I miss our friendship so much. We could always talk about everything except our feelings. Our marriage was devoid of intimacy (physical and emotional).
He sent an e-mail today (the first time he's contacted me since May) about some mail that came to "his" house. I called him to discuss what he should do with the letter. I couldn't help but ask about his girlfriend. He told me he took her home (to the place we both grew up - we were together from ages 15-32) to meet his family and our high school friends. I sort of jokingly asked him when they were getting engaged and there was some pause and then he just said "eventually". This was a real shock as we had both said we would never get married again. I get the impression he'll be engaged in the next few months. I laughed as I joked about the price of engagement rings (he was always a cheap and greedy thing). Of course, when I hung up, I lost it.
WHY WHY WHY do I care? I left him. He was greedy, just plain mean sometimes and he never seemed to appreciate me as a wife and partner. In my head, I know we shouldn't be together. I know my marriage was nothing more than a friendship that was totally devoid of the intimacy a loving marriage should have. Yet, I still think of him (as a friend I can't talk to anymore) daily. I still cry. I wonder if he ever realy loved me. Why can he move on when I'm still feeling like I never want to marry again because I never want the pain of divorce again? I left him, right?????
I have a boyfriend who is the exact opposite of my ex-. I met him within a month of the divorce - way too soon. He's been so patient with me. He's so loving and caring and I just can't appreciate him or give him what he deserves because I'm so hung up on the loss I still feel so strongly. I feel like I may never be able to let him in.
I don't know how to move on and live without regret or questions. What is wrong with me? Can anyone relate and share how they finally let go for good? HELP!!!
He sent an e-mail today (the first time he's contacted me since May) about some mail that came to "his" house. I called him to discuss what he should do with the letter. I couldn't help but ask about his girlfriend. He told me he took her home (to the place we both grew up - we were together from ages 15-32) to meet his family and our high school friends. I sort of jokingly asked him when they were getting engaged and there was some pause and then he just said "eventually". This was a real shock as we had both said we would never get married again. I get the impression he'll be engaged in the next few months. I laughed as I joked about the price of engagement rings (he was always a cheap and greedy thing). Of course, when I hung up, I lost it.
WHY WHY WHY do I care? I left him. He was greedy, just plain mean sometimes and he never seemed to appreciate me as a wife and partner. In my head, I know we shouldn't be together. I know my marriage was nothing more than a friendship that was totally devoid of the intimacy a loving marriage should have. Yet, I still think of him (as a friend I can't talk to anymore) daily. I still cry. I wonder if he ever realy loved me. Why can he move on when I'm still feeling like I never want to marry again because I never want the pain of divorce again? I left him, right?????
I have a boyfriend who is the exact opposite of my ex-. I met him within a month of the divorce - way too soon. He's been so patient with me. He's so loving and caring and I just can't appreciate him or give him what he deserves because I'm so hung up on the loss I still feel so strongly. I feel like I may never be able to let him in.
I don't know how to move on and live without regret or questions. What is wrong with me? Can anyone relate and share how they finally let go for good? HELP!!!
deleted_user
dont do this to yourself. move on and try to get over it. theres no point in being invoulved in someone elses life because it just hurts. specially when they move on and you cant. they have whats rightfully yours.... happiness.... sometimes you just gotta learn to lick your wounds and move on... otherwise they will always stay open and always hur so much .
sc2kids4me
Have you considered counseling? Maybe a therapist can help you get to the root of this. Seems after all these months without contact and your awareness of your marital issues you would be able to move on. Only you can make the final break, what are you hanging on to?
deleted_user
HLS, I dont know if this is the best advise and in my current situation I surely cant seem to do it. But with my 2nd husband (married & divorced 3 times) which I also left, I ended up with the most wonderful man and was so happy and in love that I was actually able to be happy for the ex. We became kind of like friends! Once you are happy, you can very easily forget the pain and you can be happy for the other person. Even tho my 3rd didnt work out, me and the 2nd ex are still friends.He has helped me thru this alot already. Good luck!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
