My story is so long, and has been going on for so many years, I don't even know where to begin. I have been married for 15 years. And for 15 years I have put up with verbal and emotional abuse by husband. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't all the time, but it was enough that when we finally went to marriage counceling, the councelor gave me literature to read on it, that is basically when I realised what was going on. You see for so long, I felt like I deserved it, because my first marriage had failed, and I didn't have a high paying career, and I went through a horrible custody battle with my ex, and my daughter hated me ect....I had very low self-esteem. Anyway, when I finally realized what was going on, I was ready to put an end to my marriage, we discovered that our youngest daughter had an eating disorder. So I put any plans for leaving on the back burning, so could deal with that. She had to go to a hospital out of town, and so I quit my job and moved there to be there for her. During that time, my husband would fly over on the weekends, and all we would do is fight, and he again would let me know what a horrible person I was ect. Anyway, we came home after 2 months, and once we were home, I was told by friends of ours that he was making inappropriate comments to other women, like telling them that he was divorced. Asking women to go have drinks with him ect. This stuff happened while I was out of town. When I confronted him, he denied everything. Yet, why would different people be saying it about different instances....so I know that there is some truth to it. Anyway, my daughther was getting stronger, and doing very well, so I was getting ready to make my move again, when my husband ends up having a heart attack. So, I can't very well leave now that he is sick. And the abuse is worse now then it has ever been. He has accused me of being the one who sent both he and my daughter to the hospital. I am to blame for his heart attack, because of the fighting. Once I realized what he was doing, I started sticking up for myself, so instead of taking the insults, I started fighting back, which he claims caused our daughter to having an eating disorder, and him to have a heart attack. I feel like I barely have my head above water. I am running around going to doctor's appts. with both of them. I am not working outside the home. I told him that I will try to get my job back, but he says that I am needed at home, but then he throws it in my face that he is the only one bring home money.....You want to know the worst part....I am a well liked person. People would rather be around me then him...even his own family and longtime friends that he had before he met me. I really don't know what to do. We have no connection emotionally or physically. We haven't be intimate in months, and now that he has had a heart attack, I have no idea how much longer it will be. I am only 42yrs old. Is this what the rest of my life looks like? I feel hopeless!!!!
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