My husband of nearly 6 years lost his mother very unexpectedly in August of 2008. Things prior to her death were a little strained as he started to put his friends above his marriage and family, but not unbearable. We were close again for about 4 months after her death to get through picking up the pieces. Once we stopped going to his father's home every weekend for family support, he started turning to his friends more. Any excuse to get out of the house. Nights out got later and later. Then he started talking more about his female boss. I teased that they had something going--honestly to get him to tell me, "honey you're all I need." Unfortunately that never happened. It all came to a head in May of this year. He went on a business trip with just his female boss and him....for a week...they stayed and extra day just for the heck of it....well I called him 2 days into his trip and his phone picked up in his pocket without him being aware it was on.....I heard 2 minutes of a conversation including the words, "I was wondering why you were so quiet at dinner, I never said you were easy." Needless to say we fought on the phone for the remainder of his trip. When he came back he was different....no interest in sex.......no talking...everything was forced....and after not seeing his children, age 2 and 4, for 9 days, chose to go out rather than spend time with them......Well the lack of communication and avoidance lasted another week or so...."working late".......then in June it all blew....I asked how long he was going to avoid me and he finally said "Well I'm not happy...and I don't think you are either...." He was too scared to say it but I made him...I asked him what would make him happy and he said a divorce...my meltdown ensued...but he wasn't filing for divorce.....I think he was waiting for me to do it....because he can't do anything that's difficult...so he was staying out more often and later...curiousity got the best of me and I looked at his cell phone log....he was talking to his boss for long periods of time late at night....I started going to counseling to try to help myself and after describing the situation to my counselor she said the words "emotional affair." It all fit......Whenever asked about her, they are "just friends" Jumps at every chance to spend time with her......shut me out completely....its been over 3 months now of him shutting me out and being lonely in my own home....so this past Saturday night I was upstairs watching TV and I heard him talking downstairs. It was late so I was curious who he was talking to. He was talking loud enough that I could hear him just sitting on the steps.....he talked to her the way he used to talk to me when we were first dating....he said more to her in the five minutes I listened than the past 3 months with me....after he hung up I asked him if he was in love with her and all he could do was get irrate that I had listened to his call....then he proceeded to tell me that she was his best friend....and in a fight the next day told me that he didn't need me anymore.... So basically I have been replaced....so that's where I am at....he still has not filed for divorce and won't talk about it...I just don't want to be the one that gave up on this marriage or have my kids resent me years down the road for them not having their dad in their life......I am just lonely and need some support, so I hope you all can help....
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