So how do you hold your head up high? Yes, my husband cheated and yes he left me. Yes she's pregnant and so am I. Yes he left me to take care of everything, buttttt I still feel guilty and embarassed. I still feel like I should've been able to fix it. I still feel like I don't want to show my face or talk about it to certain people. Since SHE lives in the neighborhood too I am even more humiliated wondering who all knows and who might've seen his car at her house who might know she's pregnant and put two and two together. Mainly close friends know I'm pregnant but I have no idea who all she's told about the entire situation. I just want to crawl in a hole. It's so awkward. I guess it's worse because I thought we had something most people didn't have, but I guess I was wrong! I just don't know how people do it. I want to run away from everything and not admit the horrible truth of my life!
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This is sort of a ramble:So I woke up miserable today. I have this loop in my thoughts and that loop keeps me in the negative or extreme positive thought process. There is an in-between but these days I feel like mostly I'm in the negative process. I can't stop having negative thoughts about my life. I keep going back and forth between virtuous and vicious cycles and its frustrating. ...