I am dying inside and I cannot take this pain. I cannot believe what has happened to my life. I am crying so hard as I type this and I just wish that it could all go away. The other day my stbx confessed to me that his "friend" was and is more than a friend and it seems that they are deeply involved emotionally and sexually. He had originally and continued to tell me that they were just friends that he had confided in and that it wasn't sexual. I didn't really beleive that but to be told the honest truth like that has knocked me over and ripped my heart out all over again. I am so devastated all over again. I have recently filed for divorce and he said that he wanted to talk to me to see if I would consider taking a 6 month separation rather than going straight to divorce and see if we could possibly work things out. He felt that if we were ever going to be able to work things out he had to be honest about what was going on. He is currently still seeing this piece of shit and told me that he would completely end it if we decided to work on things. Really - isn't that nice of him! He is nuts because he doesn't even see that him having a "friend" while he was married and now continuing it up until this day has been even more devastating and damaging to there ever being a chance for us to ever work it out. When we separated back in Nov. he never asked to come back and work it out and that also was quite devastating. I thought that he would for sure come to his senses and beg to come back, but he never did and now I see why. He had a relationship already created and waiting for him. I cannot believe that this is the person that I married and had a child with. Our beautiful baby girl is in the other room sleeping and I just can't believe that he destroyed our family like this and made it that she will now grow up in a broken home. My heart aches for her - she did not deserve this. He ruined everything for our life and our future. We were having a house built that was supposed to be ready in March. Because of everything that has happened we had to back out of the house and loose our deposit which was alot of money and all we had. We already sold our current home and I am now forced to pack up our home by myself and move me and my daughter in with my parents until everything can be settled. It seems so unfair and so very depressing. I was supposed to be preparing to move into our new house and raise our family and now I am getting divorced and moving back in with my parents. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I am in so much pain. When will this stop???
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