I find that I relate to some people more than others and some threads speak to me more than others. I only respond to stuff that means something to me. I guess it is natural that I respond to some people more than others.
I by no means am trying to avoid or exclude people. I just do not respond if I cannot relate to a topic, have no expereince or nothing productive to add.
I am by no means cliquey, or trying to be.

There's a difference between being friends with someone, and automatically agreeing or disagreeing with someone because of their status on your friends list.

Having friends on here is nice, it's a way of getting feedback on your journals and other things that other people might not notice.

But the other part is not calling your "friends" out when they say things that you know are just plain wrong. Part of being someone's friend is being supportive, yes. But I've seen threads and hugs where people "rallied the troops" behind a poster, when an objective point of view would have said to let them go on their own.

Homogeny is destructive in relationships; everything's static and no growth occurs.

There are no clique's. Some get along better with others, but no one really knows anyone else. Some dominate, some lay back. Everyone is in a slightly different stage and circumstance.

Some are intellegent, some play games...just like real life.

This is all new to me. I have lots of friends here on DS. Some I "talk" to more than others, but cliques? I think we tend to gravitate towards people who are in the same stages as we are, I will admit I don't have a lot of new DSers on my friend list, but I am in a very different place from them and it is difficult for me to relate in some ways.

I agree JacJac. I was accused of high school behavior because I did not put someone on my friend's list because I did not believe she was who she said she was. It is my choice as to I who I add to my list, just as it is another's choice to not add me. We get so much information and support here from different people, just like in the real world there are people that you talk to daily and others that you listen to and ask advice from. Everyone is going through their own stuff, it is nice to have friends that understand and support you. It is also nice to just goof off and read some of the silly threads, there are people here that are not friends of mine that I know I would be friends with in real life because they would crack me up daily.

Interesting topic.. I rejoined so I could put my two bits in.

I found that the majority of the pple here are open to comments and want to join into the dialogue. Yes, like in life we tend to converse with those who are on the same page as us, pple we feel comfortable talking to.

Perhaps what some pple see as a clique are pple who are comfortable enough to have fun and playful banter here in the forums. Most of us have never met each other, or ever will, but we are at a stage where we can laugh again, smile again, joke around and open up to others, it is all good.

For me, well I left the community because I needed to distance myself from the community before my head imploded. Two separate occassions within 8 days where two DS members made broad statements, threats of a restraining order in one case, horrible and cruel remarks in the other case.

This is where some of the statements of pple not being supportive stem from. People who have an axe to grind with someone, either their spouse or a genuine concern or fear of another member... either way.. broadcasting accusations and making harmful comments for all to see is not what pple come in here to see. We have enough drama, hurt and pain without being drawn into someone's personal battle with another member.

I too have just rejoined this community for the simple reason of responding to this thread. I have a respect and friendship for Jac Jac.

I cannot believe the whining and whimpering that goes on in here. Sure, it helps for a little while when you just need somebody to sympathize. But it's not healthy in the long run.

I'll disagree with ABorden's statement "But the other part is not calling your "friends" out when they say things that you know are just plain wrong. Part of being someone's friend is being supportive, yes. But I've seen threads and hugs where people "rallied the troops" behind a poster, when an objective point of view would have said to let them go on their own."

I believe you're a better friend when you stand for something. And you make your friend stand for something. Patting them on the back when they're lying to everyone else is not supportive. It's delusional.

And that's the main reason I'm no longer a member of this board. There are cliques. There's the "men bashers club". The "women bashers club". The "other spouse is a bad parent club". The "blow jobs don't count as sex" and "viewing porn is the same as cheating" clubs.

And then there are the people who agree with anybody - hoping they can have a little romance on the side here. Oh yeah, you got the bipolars than can't take the heat on their boards any more so they come here to stir up trouble.

Did that cover it?

Are those cliques or just people who share same opinion on some topics posting when those topics come up?

Many chat on Chatzy, so they spend more time conversing than threads allow.

If you're in a Clique, can you Change the Channel?

Brian,

I think you misread what I said.

I am all for calling your friends out/not ignoring it when they say things you don't agree with simply because you're friends with them.

Support, yes.
Condone, no.

Does that make it a little clearer?

Just a suggestion. I too have been saddened by some of tones used. I don't like the bad language but that is my problem and I ignore the use - implied or explicit - of that good old Saxon word.
Here's the suggestion: if someone has a beef with a poster, a discreet hug be used, as opposed to a shout that the rest of the family will hear.

I want to thank you CanadianBacon and Brian for your return and input...no it's not that I'm not thankful to everyone of you. But I can appreciate that you came back to respond.

In my POV we are all going through pain and hurt...yes I have been very disheartened because there is whining sometimes and I hate whining. There have been times when I have to back off because I think I'm being too hard or too liberal with ppl. I like the idea that we can have a variation of conversations here; I appreciate the "dirty" threads because they make us remember that part of ourselves and sex is healthy. When a cruel stbx comes to the threads to bash someone I appreicate rallying in support of our fellow DS'ers state of mind and privacy.

Personally, I have more of an issue with answering the same questions over and over. I understand new ppl don't know we've covered certain ground. I am a cheerleader for finding your own strength, personal growth and personal bests. But sometimes (especially lately) I don't feel like being a cheerleader and that's simply me being honest. I'm always supportive but a cherleader these days..not so much.

Did she just call me Canadian Bacon?...

I do think .. well.. somewhere in my cultural and religious background that I am not allow to partake of Pork...hmmm... hmmm.. not Halal or Kosher you know.. unclean..

moving on.. wait.. is that BBQ I smell?.. pass the pork ribs please Brian.

Honestly...it's not the same place it was when i first joined back in June...i don't participate in the the threads much anymore at all...however i've found a few very good friends here that i talk to often and value very much and that means the WORLD to me they are all the support i need right now! Thank you my DS friends you know who you are!

You know what Rose..I had a hermit crab named Canandian Bacon...that was my mistake...I was going so fast....((hugs))

I'm glad to see you back CanadianR, you always make me laugh.