I just turned 40 last week. From the time I was 16 until I was 38, I was in two long term relationships (a little over 10 years each). They were both disastrous, abusive relationships. I left both on my own when I was ready, so have actually never experienced the heartache of a breakup until now. A year and a half ago I ran into an old acquaintance that I knew through my 1st ex. I'll try to make a long story short. We hit it off right away and became inseparable. I've never had anyone treat me so good and make me feel so loved. We had so much fun with our children, family, and friends over the past 1.5 years. We did everything together. He told me often how I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he re-evaluated his life because of me. He was perfect and I thought I was the luckiest woman on the planet. My children loved him. I knew he had an ex that he was with for 10 years. He did not have children with her. He moved out of her house 2 years prior to running into me. He said she was a horrible, abusive person to him and his kids. Ruined their lives. As far as I knew he never talked to her again after he left. Five weeks ago tomorrow morning, we were awakened by a woman pounding on the bedroom windows screaming that she knew who I was and that she is his fiance!!!! It was his "ex"!!!! Long story and a lot of details that go along with it, but to sum it up.....it's true!!!!! He let me leave that morning after the incident without putting up a fight and continued to spend the rest of the day with her on his motorcycle enjoying the sunshine while I was at home throwing up and thinking I was going to die. Apparently they never stopped seeing each other. They are together now and I guess engaged. He texts me telling me he misses me. It hurts to breathe. This pain is so bad. I told him last Monday to never text me again. It was the hardest thing I've ever said to him. I'm trying to make excuses right now to contact him. I'm out of control. Please somebody talk me out of this. The person I love doesn't even exist. I miss the person I thought he was so bad it hurts. I miss his kids. I miss everything, but it was all a lie. Did his family and friends know this was going on? I've never felt so tricked. How does a human being do this to another living soul? I haven't seen him since that morning. He has tried to get me to meet him several times. I have almost caved a few times. How did I not know this was going on for 1.5 years (she lives a few towns away and apparently he always goes to her house, but still)? Why do I miss a dirtbag? He is a terrible person. It's been 5 weeks. I'm sick of the roller coaster of emotions. Fine one second, then breaking down the next second. I don't know how much more I can take.
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