Hi, I am new here and really need support or confirmation that I am doing the right thing. We've been married for a little over 4 years, and have known each other since we were 7, and friends at least half of that time. I've always felt we were soulmates. My husband moved from another country to be with me. Well, that's where the problems started. He's been depressed since day 1. It's gotten better with the time, but our relationship deteriorated. We are on a roller coaster of emotions: we are good for 2-3 days, and then we either have a small fights I(i.e. don't speak until morning of the next day), or bad (he goes to another room and sleeps there). For the past 1-2 years he's been verbally abusive (and that's what triggers the fights and screaming) out of the blue (i.e. he's in a bad mood, I said something more emotionally which was interpreted as "raising voice", etc.). Today was one more of those. I threatened before to apply for divorce, but never went through. I was also the one to make up. He never apologizes for anything. He's been physically abusive a couple of times in the past years too (spitting, twisting arms, slapping).. I feel I lost all respect for myself that I allowed him to do it.. Today, I said I will divorce. I don't know how to start.. we have so much history together.. and I still love him... but I feel if I don't do something, I will only hate myself more.. I just can't believe that my life is going down the drain together with hopes and dreams....Finally, I don't know how to tell my parents.. We've had very tough 2 years with 2 deaths and dad coping with cancer.. I don't want my parents to hurt anymore.. I don't know what to do and how....
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