Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I ask this question because I had to the unfortunate opportunity of seeing a lot of my family members today. Besides my parents I don't see the rest of the family very often because most of them from out of town, so they don't know about the situation with my wife and I.
I damn sure don't feel like explaining it to anyone right now either, and I hate telling these damn lies about it too. You know: "We're great!" or "They had plans to do something else with her family so they couldn't be here."
I don't feel like playing charades anymore. STOP ASKING ME ABOUT MY FAMILY! THEY'RE FRICKIN FINE! REALLY DAMNIT!
And while all this is going on, I have to sit there and watch them with their happy damn families. Happy spouses and happy kids, every body's just one big happy family. All this "I love you baby" crap or "Can I get you anything baby" crap. I wish they all would just go to hell or back to Mars where they came from.
I don't mean to sound like such an asshole, but the whole thing just wore me the hell out. It drain me physically and emotionally.
I'M BURNT OUT RIGHT NOW.
I damn sure don't feel like explaining it to anyone right now either, and I hate telling these damn lies about it too. You know: "We're great!" or "They had plans to do something else with her family so they couldn't be here."
I don't feel like playing charades anymore. STOP ASKING ME ABOUT MY FAMILY! THEY'RE FRICKIN FINE! REALLY DAMNIT!
And while all this is going on, I have to sit there and watch them with their happy damn families. Happy spouses and happy kids, every body's just one big happy family. All this "I love you baby" crap or "Can I get you anything baby" crap. I wish they all would just go to hell or back to Mars where they came from.
I don't mean to sound like such an asshole, but the whole thing just wore me the hell out. It drain me physically and emotionally.
I'M BURNT OUT RIGHT NOW.
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
Somehow, we feel "marked" or emberassed when we're going through this crap. I actually had someone that I worked with, a female, after I told her that he (husband) had left, say to me..you didn't see it coming? Like, what's wrong with you? We want to avoid questions or statements like that. We can't handle it in the beginning. As time goes by, you have time to think about your relationship and believe me, you'll have answers for those stupid questions. Evidently, they've never been through anything like this. We're all still in shock from this. We don't have answers. But, in time, we will. Everyone will figure out their own reasoning behind what we're going through.
My own situation, a little voice kept saying to me, "he tells so many lies to alot of people and eventually, he's going to back himself into a corner". Well, right now, there are alot of people he is "avoiding". Is that anyway to live?
Back to your dilema.....keep this to yourself, as far as your family is concerned, until you feel comfortable enough to answer all those stupid questions or listen to those stupid comments. Even though, family could be helpful right now, NOT all family.
When my stbx moved out, he moved about an hour from here. So I was the one left to explain to people from church, mutual friends I'd run into at the supermarket, etc. Ususally, I would have the kids with me, so I wouldn't have to go into details in the produce aisle. But eventually, word gets around.
I read that some people use their annual holiday greeting card to include a note about what is going on. I thought this would be a good idea - until I tried to write a note about it without getting depressed. How about, "Merry Christmas! By the way, I'm getting divorced. Luckily, my husband found his true love (it wasn't me!) through the internet..." I still have all my cards on the dresser, waiting for me to write a note I could live with.
I can certainly understand why you feel so drained. It is exhausting to keep up a false front. Good luck! ~P