Hi there bigfella, I have thought about that before myself.. Because I think he mistook some of the marbles he lost for love. I think he has made a terrible mistake and I blieve that I shoud be able to do something to bring him around. I just think it takes 2 to Tango. I have had the same thoughts. But how are we supposed to work with nothing?

I have been on all of the websites too. Unfortunately if the other spouse has moved on with someone else you can pretty much forget it. And besides what happens if you get your spouse back? Will you ever trust them again? I had to answer that ? myself and decided that I would not trust him again and moving on, no matter how painful, is the best for me. I wish I could be more positive but those sites just want your money. You can't make your spouse stay if they don't want to.

You are not alone. My s2bx tried everything to get me back. I have already made up my mind...I cannot love him, cannot be intimate and passionate with him. It's done with. However, no one knows the future...after we both have healed, dealt and accepted our situation...there might be a chance that we could be back together. But right now, there is no way in hell that we could salvage our damaged marriage.

Dr. Phil tried to help us, but failed. Relationship Rescue might have worked if we had tried sooner.

The big thing is - do both people want it to work??? Timing is important too. I know sometimes when my stbx wanted to work on things I didn't, and vice versa. Keep your chin up! ~P

I to looked at all of this stuff and bought Mort Fertels CDs on saving your marriage. It did not work. I think if I would have known before he met this woman that my husband was not in our relationship there could have been things that would have worked. Once my husband made up his mind he told me he was leaving and left within 3 days. He never came back and lied about the other woman. I don't think if I immediately went out and got that stuff it would have helped. I think some of the information is good and it will help in future relationships but overall, I think we have all learned the rights and wrongs and learned from our own mistakes in our previous or current marriage. Unfortunately, if two people don't want the same thing it is impossible to fix it. Believe me, I tried like hell but no luck. If there is a chance, I think you should do what it takes but if the other person is already gone or involved with someone else it probabaly won't matter.

The real question is "How long are you going to keep trying?" No matter what you read or how much advice you buy, you're not going to give up until you're ready to give up or you get her back. The best thing you have to go on as far as getting her back is what you know about her. You can't read that anywhere and you can't buy it from anyone. Are you willing to fight alone, because you're the only one fighting right now. You're the only one that has the heart to fight for both of you. It gets even harder when the other person is fighting for themselves. It may seem like we can't win, but we don't see it.

ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

IT'S ALL A GAMBLE!!!

WE ARE WAGERING OUSELVES, IN OTHER WORDS WE'RE BETTING THE FARM ON IT.

WE KNOW HOW F@#$%& up the odds are, but we choose to ignore them. It's like having inside information on the stock market, but you choose to go the other way.

EXCUSE ME,
THAT'S NOT GAMBLING
THAT'S JUST GOING FOR BROKE.
GOOD LUCK!
HOPE TO SEE YOU AT THE WINNERS' TABLE.