My dad has always been a controlling, emotionless person. After going through 30 years of life, it has just recently occured to me that maybe my upbringing has caused me to lessen myself. For instance, being called a whore starting at 11 y/o b/c I brought home a C on my report card. Being beaten with a 2x4 b/c I wanted to go to college. Being called a stupid whore just recently b/c I wouldnt write my mother off b/c she is now dating after they have been divorced for two years. These are only 3 examples but if hes not happy this was a daily occurence. How the hell did I not notice this? How did I end up listening to him everytime he told me what to do and what to say and OMG I got married three times b/c he told me to. Now Im sitting here pissed! My therapist says I need to write him a letter. I have already tried talking to him. He says I am a stupid emotional woman and we just arent worth a shit. WTF do I do with this? Its not all b/c of my ex's. I would have nevefr accepted men like this if I wouldnt have been used to it. And my Mom did know some of it, and when she would confront him he would take off with one of the kids and tell her she would never see him again if she didnt comply. I dont hate her. She did the best she could given the situation. Question is again, if youve gone through this, how do you fix it?
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