Halloween was my first holiday without stbx. I had such a hard time and just seemed to cry every 5 min. when my kids weren't looking. I pretended to be upbeat but I know my oldest didn't buy it. We went trick or treating and thank God the neighbor behind me whom my stbx is doing was gone. The block is trying to run her out and I guess she feels the pressure. Last Halloween was so much fun with my ex. He always carved the pumpkin with the girls while I cooked dinner. I was so sad that I couldn't bring myself to carve one with my girls so now I feel guilty that they missed out due to my misery. How does everyone handle holidays? The big ones are coming up and if I don't figure this out then they might need to put me away.
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