Well, I know I do WAY too much thinking, daydreaming, wandering off...I wish there was a pill I could take for it!

But in answer to your question, yes, I do...way too much I might add.

MsTranquility, YES, it is part of the healing process. One thing though, & I KNOW it's hard to do, try not to make sense of it.. There may NOT be ANY sense to make of it. Sometimes we NEVER know why people do the things they do. Just think about YOU & what YOU want to do!~! Figuring out YOUR own life can be frustrating, but FUN at the same time!~! "Keep Your Chin Up!~!" I'm here if you need to talk!~!

ah, yes, trying to make sense of it alll... waste alot of time doing that... suppose you have to do some of that, but I figure I do too much of it -- as for the rest of my life, well, just trying to get things squared away again and back in balacne is occupying mos tof my time, hoep to make time to look at the future sometime soon

I do this less after seven months, but it still happens at the darnedest times. Some days I am glad it is over, because I think there might have been big financial trouble that would have dragged me down. I had lost most everything else, yet was still trying to ensure his retirement, not knowing he was sleeping around with a family member that destroyed my family and my son-in-law's too.

Yet sometimes I imagine him walking back in the door and making everything right and ending this nightmare. I know it is a daydream, but it still crops up, especially with the holidays coming.

Yes, I used to recap different events. When I was in deep thought it was because I was stuck. I didn't know how to take the next step and very much afraid to fail at something else in life. Until one day I had to trust God with my life--Lord knows I had messed up enough.

Keep moving forward. Keep trust your God. That's the one regret I don't have is trusting God with my life. If this day dreaming produce nothing, change your thinking. There is life after divorce and separation.

The one thing I had to understand and start doing was spending less time dying and more time living. There is a purpose and plan for you. Grab hold to it with both hands and don't let go.

Like, all day long!!

Well, I'm about to prove what a dreamer I am. I read your post and got an idea. I dont drink but a song came to mind about drinking alone. I went and got the lyrics and changed them for you. You can tell that I have time on my hands...lol.

Here are the words I made up...sung to the tune of that song "I Drink Alone"...dont shoot me if its lame, its late...

I dream alone, yeah
With nobody else
I dream alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I dream alone
Im usually by myself

Every morning just before breakfast
I just want my coffee or tea
Just me and my pet doggy
That's all I have it seems

'Cause I dream alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I dream alone
Im usually by myself

The other night I laid sleeping
And I woke from a terrible dream
So I turned on my pal the computer
And my partner daily strength
And we dream together, yeah
With everyone else
Yeah, you know when I dream alone
Im usually by myself

The other day I got served with papers
Just went out of my head
Turned on my pal the computer
And googled daily strength site
And we dream together, yeah
With everyone else
Yeah, you know when I dream alone
Im usually by myself

My old spouse done give up on me
And it makes me feel oh so bad
The only one who will hang out with me
Is my dear old divorced friends
And we dream together, yeah
With everyone else
Yeah, you know when I dream alone
Im usually by myself

An excellent reprise of an excellent George Thorogood song.

Catch myself doing it all the time. In fact I was doinging it just b4 I looked at your post :\


zoot, that was awsome lol.

I've sat in a daze until I figured it won''t help me by doing that. I know and accept what went wrong in our marriage. As to figuring out the rest of my life, I live by the motto"one day at a time".

daily sometimes lots of times a day. I believe it is part of our process.

All the time. I find myself over analyzing everything, or daydreaming of the way it should have turned out.

Yes. I have adjusted my standards of what I expect to accomplish every day because I was just feeling like such a failure. I need a certain amount of time to veg, to think, to plan, to just heal. It's alright.

I used to. Trying to give that up though! As catfisher says, trying to make sense of it is really a waste of time. Especially if the stbx has mental issues as mine does. You just have to accept that what is, IS. Take care, Beth

I appreciate all of your comments, advice and "song"! You know...it's so helpful to know I'm not alone in this journey. Hugs to everyone.