I wanted to write this and ask do we really ever let go? it's been 19 months for me now. i don't feel the pain, the devestation, the desperation to know where he is or what he is doing. i do wonder but basically its in passing. so that makes me wonder, am i still holding on. i think i'm holding on the memories of loving him but it doesn't hurt. i'm a little lonely now and then, but i don't really think of him all of those times. i hope someday i'll have someone in my life, but that doesn't bring him to mind.

my point i guess is for all of you that call, e-mail, text, look at myspace and facebook are not letting go. it took me the no contact root. i know this is repeated time after time, but for some of us and some of you it will be the only way. you torture yourselves and your hearts when you put yourself in a postition of contant rejection.

my sister is a very wise woman, and neither of us have been in healthy relationships. she was harsh with me, she asked, does he call? does he e-mail? i said, no. she said what does that tell you. in facing the truth, it means he does not care about me, he does not love me, he does not want to know about me. at first of course i was devestated, but now, i'm ok. it's truly his loss of a wonderful woman. i hope and wish for all of you that you can make it to this point. please, focus on yourself. stop focusing on what they are doing, who they are with, relationships they are making. you may or may not ever get those answers. love yourself. the world out there is so very beautiful and full of awesome wonders, but until you accept what is going on with you, you miss out on so much. xoxoxoxox love, linda