Every person is different. You have to find what works for you. I believe that religon and faith are something that has to be practiced and taught, my spirituality is the very core of who I am. I do not attend church, but every minute of every day conduct myself in ways I believe. Bad things happen to good people to test your strength, to teach you lessons. Life is not a destination but a journey.

Honey you are so young. you have your whole life ahead of you. YOu need inspiration. God is mostly about fear and living in rigid rules and you don't do this because god said so.

go rent the movie the secret, then go buy these books and read them

"rich dad , poor dad"
"good to great"
" the 7 habits of highly effective people

then go buy some angel cards from chapters and live a more spiritual life....Okay, in the meanwhile cope day to day. Assess everyone you meet., are they a positive influence? great if not, dump them or avoid them. Focus on you and your goals.

Your head is on straight. You know what you need to do, every morning review your goals and do something every day to move slightly closer to those goals.

Hang in there sweetie. LOL

Hey sis,

I am stunned at how close your situation parallels my stbx. Only difference is you seem aware of the opportunities you have to improve your life. You can do anything you set tour mind towards!

Good luck, and there's tons of support here. Keep the open and honest dialogue coming.

You don't need to attend church or even be a part of organized religion to have a belief in god or a 'higher power'. I consider myself to be a very spiritual person, I believe in God but I don't believe in organized religion. For many years, I was spiritually agnostic then I realized it was organized religion that was turning me off - not God. I believe that my relationship with god is personal and doesn't require that I attend church to prove I worship him/her.

It took me many years to develop a 'feel' for god and to have faith that things unfold the way they should.

A good series on this is 'Conversations with God' by Donald Neale Walsch. They are in book form but I really like the audio book version. He has a website to explore also. It is all about spirituality without being tied to organized religion.

Also, explore some non-Christian religions. Buddhism is a good one. You will find when you start studying a variety of religions that the underlying premise is the same in nearly all of them. Including Christianity. I love to read the bible for Jesus's words. They are very powerful words to live by. BUT there is a lot in the New Testament that was written by people who never even met Jesus - that is interesting but in my case not very applicable to my belief system. I respect the fact that different people have different points of view on this but there is nothing wrong with doing your own 'exploring' of this and developing a personal belief system that is different from mainstream Christianity. Good luck. Just the fact that you are even thinking about these things is a very good sign that you are on your way.

Non- Christian here (as if nobody knew that).
I am very spiritual, but I am an agnostic. You don't have to believe in God to believe. Bad and good happen to everybody whether they believe in God, or not.

Because you are questioning is a sign you are seeking. You can be a Christian and never set foot in the church aka organized religion. If you choose to seek and know about the born-again God, there are many Christians here that would gladly help you out. If you seek another path, there are many of us that can help you out.

I'm sure you can find a codependency group that are not God-oriented. Look up the Pagan groups in your area.

Whatever path you choose, you are well on your way to your own personal relationship with your God or Goddess, or Higher Power. If I may actually quote a Bible verse here; Seek and you shall find, when you search for it with your whole heart.

Footnote: I do believe Jesus had many great teachings.

A lot of people have trouble with organized religion. Too full of hypocrits, to rigid etc. God doesn't just say "Do this and that if you want Me to love you." God loves us anyway. The Bible does state that the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ.

You can find yourself by looking within yourself. You find what works for you and as long as you are happy with what you are doing then you will be okay.

Anyone can believe less than 100% in God but then you would not be getting the full benefits of God and his words.

I think the idea of learning about all types of "Higher Powers" might be a good idea for you. You don't sounds like you want to give 100% to anything right now. Once you educate yourself some more you might find what works for you and then you might be willing to put 100% into it. Good luck on your search.

I think you can find yourself, yes. I beleive in God but I don't believe that you HAVE to go to church or you HAVE to follow rules - I believe and trust in my own way.
I'm more of a believer in Angels - if that makes sense.
I don't think you need to a have a faith to find yourself I think you just need faith IN yourself.
Last time I went through a breakup I searched for something to help me and looked into Buddhism and Wicca and allsorts- nothing won out - I still had the same beliefs.
Take care

Spirituality comes from within. You know what is wrong and right. Follow that. God does not require you to follow rules to love you, he loves you no matter what. He just guides your life to try to make you the best person you can be. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. God does not want to control our lives, he just wants to give us reasons to be better to one another.

I truely believe in the power of God to heal me and you. A life centered around God is not a life with fear but a life with love. Seek knowing God and you will be thankful you did. Dont expect a lighting bolt to hit you this is a relationship which takes time and prayer.
take care
I will be praying for you.

Hey sis - You only have to believe what you want to believe. I will add my 2 cents for what it is worth.

As for God's love for you...the Bible states that God's love for us is unconditional. He doesn't love us ONLY when we follow the rules. Honestly - I break a few every day and I'm totally secure in the fact that he loves me anyway! He promises that in His word.

As for bad things that happen - Romans 8:28 states "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose"

Nobody else can pretend to know what purpose He has for you and for what purpose He has allowed you to go thru the heartbreaks you have endured. I haven't figured this out for myself either but I know that HE has a plan for my life.

Praying you find direction in your search for yourself!