For the past year, my Wife and I have been trying to get over an affair she had so we can move forward. Unfortunately, within the last month, it's looking like divorce is imminent. I think we both can make the divorce go through without any disagreements on how to split everything. The one issue I foresee of course is the physical custody of our 2 year old son. We would both agree that we will share physical custody but we also agree that he should have one primary home, where the 2nd parent would get him a couple of nights a week and every other weekend. At first, I think I thought it may be best for him to be with his Mother as the primary caregiver (and I know she would want that). But as each day passes, I am beginning to think that my home is where he should live. I am having a difficult time trying to determine if I'm just being selfish and whether it's in his best interest or not. I will gladly acknowledge that she is a great mother to him, but I feel I'm equally a great father. I truely feel he could be happy with either of us. I am torn. I will be keeping the house, so I think it may be in his best interest to stay in familiar surroundings. I also can't help but to feel like I'm the one who receives all the punishment still, a year later for a divorce that has all stemmed from HER infidelity. I know that part should not weigh in the custody decision but I can't help but be angered by it. In addition, if I do decide to try and fight for physical custody, it may turn a very easy and straight forward divorce into a much more expensive and painful process for all involved. Lastly, I don't want to put everyone through it if the courts typically lean toward the mother if both are considered suitable parents but the child is not old enough to decide for themselves. Any help or suggestions are greatly appreciated.
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