It is tough. My STBX asked for a divorce two months ago and we are still in the same house. I am moving out as soon as the settlement and separation agreement are signed. It is very draining. I know I feel like he is killing my soul but everyone is different and for me I don't want the divorce but have no choice.

It's a tough one. I've been living in the same house with my stbx for 9 mos waiting for him to move and work on the separation agreement, etc. Btw, he's in the basement.
I have to say it's horrible. Draining emotionally and confusing to the kids.
He cannot make you move out of the house. If he is already out, he needs to stay out. Talk to your lawyer about how to keep him out. Good luck to you!

I would change the locks. Then he can't move in. I've been living with my stbx aka the cheating asshole. He won't move out. We're in the process of getting a divorce. I filed because he didn't want to stop cheating. Neither one of us will move out because we both want the house. Possession does count as far as who gets the house. My parents live a few houses away. If I move out, I'll probably live with them. I don't want to be neighbors with my ex and I don't want to see the whore, so I'm staying in the house until we either sell or it's final and decided by a court. He sleeps in the basement. It can be draining and we're civil to each other but every once in a while something will hurt me. I like Dreamer's suggestion. Talk to a lawyer ASAP about how to keep him out. He already moved out, that might mean something.

Oh how I hear you. I also live in the same house as my stbx. It is not a fun house I will tell you that. It feels like there is this heavy dark cloud over us. I have no choice but to stay here as long as I can. I am on a medical disability and don't make enough to live. So my future is extremely bleak. If there is anyway DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO MOVE BACK IN If you think you are stressed now just try living under the same roof with all your emotions streched way passed their capability. I think since he left the house and you stayed I believe you may have a legal leg to stand on so to speak. It is my understanding that all he can demand is that the house be sold now. My experience has and is an open wound that won't heal . I am very isolated since I no longer work. My husband seems to enjoy this fact. He has a life and I do not. All I can tell you is if you want to try to fix what is wrong in your marriage and he does not, him living there every day will just be prolonging your since of loss. You may in the back of your mind think you can change him or at least change his mind. But even if that were possible if you are anything like me would you not resent him for wanting out of your marriage. In my case he not only ruined the marriage but in doing so ruined my self esteme, my future is not rosy mostly because of his choices. Having to live in the same house makes a normal person want to lash out in a rage. Oh and don't forget the mind games and having to live with his indifference, making you feel like you have been erased You did'ny mention if you have kids. If you don't be glad that after the divorce you don't have to be connected to him Take care of you.

It isn't easy, and you need full cooperation from the other person to pull off any decency. I am still living with my stbx, in separate rooms of course, for about a month now. We also are both for the divorce and want to do it ourselves, amicably. If you guys are always at each others' throats, you will have problems. Can you live in separate levels, or minimize the time that you are both in the same place at the same time?

Well..you can..but...
I lived with my ex for a while after filing for divorce, he lived downstairs and I lived upstairs..but I found it difficult to have my own life. I couldn't date or have people over..he watched my every move. I isolated myself in my bedroom all the time. For me, the decision to get my own place worked out best. Truly saved my sanity.
Carolyn

I lived with mine for 4 months and watched a strange metamorphosis occur. If my child were not there I would have been gone 4 months earlier. If he moved out I agree he may not be entitled to living there.

i am presently living with my stbx and it is hell. i don't know what to do since our last child is a senior in HS and i'm afraid to miss anything re: his last year of school. But I am going absolutely CRAZY!!!! I can't breathe, I cry (i didn't want the divorce). DON"T let him in for your sake and sanity. My heart goes out to you. HUGS!

I hear you as clear as crystal. I live with my stbx and it is living hell. It is so draining and toxic.The mind games that go on blow me away,in a sick twisted way I think he enjoys it. Cannot wait until we settle, it is a no win situation for everyone, too unhealhty, not to mention that you cannot move forward with your life. I refer to my life at present as existing not living.

i would rather have my finger and toenails pulled out by rusty pliars that have been on a set of hot coals than consider living with my ex spouse again. we lived throughout the divorce process together to end so terribly there is extremely limited contact with the handing off of the children, either mostly in public places, with a friend, or someone present at my place. Not a good idea living together while going through a divorce, unless you can be mature adults. I on the one hand, could be, but I was dealing with a spouse that acted mentally like a teenager. ridiculous.

My stbx lived with me for 2 months after telling me he wanted a seperation. If he was downstairs I went upstairs and vice versa. You don't want to leave the house though. Gte your lawyer and get the ball rolling that will get him out.

I tried. My STBX asked for a divorce about a month ago - beginning of Nov. We decided to live together until the beginning of the year. Then it changed to right after the holidays. Then it ended up being last weekend. Didn't work out. Homelife was miserable. I would not recommend living together.

I'm doing it and it sucks. But with luck you will finalize the divorce soon, and a decision will be made. I keep telling myself "just six more months!" all thi9ngs end eventually. Just make sure he doesn't move back into your bedroom and you have some usage guidelines if you share the house. One of mine is "Don't bring anyone home that you are going to sleep with in the house!"

My h and I still live together and it's HELL!!!It doesn't help matters that I don't have a car rightnow so I can't escape for a few hours. At first I thought it would be good for the kids. Now I see I was wrong. Good luck

living together with a pending divorce is hell. Pure and simple. Wanna know a bigger hell? Having to do it for any significant length of time...which I'm looking at. At least another year due to financial reasons, school and not having any other options. I figure, if I can surivive this...I can survive anything...but it truly is a kind of hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. If you feel you two can make it work temporarily until you are both on your feet, then go fo it. But I warn you...it could possibly be the hardest thing you've ever done. Trying to be civil and on the same page is the best way to go to determining what is best for both of you. Good luck.