Stages of the Divorce Grieving Process
It takes time to recover from the pain of a divorce. But the good news is that you can work through these feelings, and they will get better in time. Divorce involves grieving, and grieving is a process. It may help you to get through the grieving process if you expect to go through the stages listed below.

Denial/Anger

For many people the first stage in the divorce process is to experience denial, shock and anger. At this stage, even very rational individuals can act in irrational and unpredictable ways.. At this stage you may not accept that the marriage is over, or you may blame your ex or your self for the failure of the marriage. You may experience physical symptoms of emotional distress, such as lack of appetite or excessive eating, problems with nausea or headaches, and loss of sleep. These physical symptoms are normal, but if they persist for weeks, you may want to consult your doctor for treatment.

Depression

Once the reality of your divorce has sunk in, you may find yourself feeling down and depressed. The symptoms of depression include some of the physical problems listed above, but they also include a lack of energy, difficulty completing simple tasks, a fear of being alone or a lack of desire to be with others at all, frequent crying, or frequent and overwhelming feelings of sadness and despair. These feelings, too, are normal. If your symptoms persist for a long period of time without improving, if they keep you from handling your daily tasks, or if you fear you may not be able to go on in your current state, you should seek out counseling and psychological treatment.

Withdrawal

A third stage in the divorce recovery process is withdrawal. After you have accepted the reality of your divorce, you may find yourself isolated. The withdrawal might be accompanied by feelings of loneliness, coupled with a lack of interest in life or an inability to take action and change your circumstances. You may find it difficult to become actively involved in a social life or to establish a new parenting pattern with your children, especially if they no longer live with you.

The separation from your spouse will leave an empty space in your daily life, and you will need to fill that space with new and healthy activities. These activities might include new hobbies or pastimes, working out, or spending more time with your family. No matter how you choose to fill your time, you should try your best to remain active so that the isolation does not become a long-term state.

Recovery

Eventually as you pass through the mourning stages of divorce, you'll find that you no longer feel the acute pain, denial, depression, or isolation that you once did. At this stage you will feel healthy and satisfied as a single individual. You will have established a new routine that works for you, and you will have healthy relationships with others. You will be ready to date again. You will be well on your way to recovery.

The Timeframe for Recovery
During your divorce you may not feel that you will ever recover. You may not be able to imagine yourself without the sadness, anger, depression, or withdrawal. These stages are absolutely normal-even essential-to your eventual well-being. But they are not permanent. Things will get better.

I'd also like point out that the mourning stages can last up to two years. This is the case for many people, but not for everyone. For most people, the grieving process begins with separation. But some individuals focus so much on the legal and financial aspects of divorce, that the emotional problems do not hit them until after the settlement is final. Finally, for some people these stages begin long before the separation itself. If you have been emotionally distant from your spouse for a long time, particularly if you have moved into separate bedrooms and stopped living as husband wife, your mourning process might have begun long before the divorce itself.

You may feel an initial sense of relief and freedom after separation and think that you have recovered from the end of the marriage. But don't be surprised if the feelings of sadness or depression return after the divorce, if you move between these stages more than once, or if you occasionally feel that you have regressed. This is normal. Of course, if as the months pass, you don't feel any improvement, if you are stuck in one stage indefinitely, or if you fear you need help recovering from the divorce, it may be wise to seek out professional counseling.