So, in my opinion... a fate worse than death is being on the receiving end of divorce... Today is a REALLY bad (read: horrific) day. I found out about my then-husband's affair when his mistress (who also happened to be his secretary) sent an e-mail (from his mailbox) to "dump me". He moved out of our home three days later, moving in with her.
It was like a nuclear explosion consumed my life - he just turned his back on me and the children (and all his responsibilities) to start this "new life" and he got engaged to her (before our divorce was finalised), marrying her shortly after the divorce went through (ink on the divorce paper not even dry).
Two years down the line... I am STILL dealing with the issues/problems/fall-out from the poor life decisions he made... while he is just focused on "his new life"... It just GETS to me some days (more than others).
Today is just one of those days where I feel like I am being sucked in by quicksand.... I want to move on... I have tried to move on... but every time something just happens to throw me right back into this pit. Just cannot stand it anymore.
Just when you think it can't get any worse.... SURPRISE.... it CAN get worse... I really have reached the point where I hate (understatement) that son-of-a-b!tch for what he is putting the children through, what he put me through... without suffering any consequences or with no conscience... at all. When do their actions ever seem to affect them? I am just so tired of carrying the brunt of the fall-out. Just DON'T want to deal with this.
This is a link by Darlene Lancer https://www.whatiscodependency.com/trauma-abuse-breakups-divorce-ptsd/#more-13463 about abusive relationships and moving forward.After reading this and speaking to my therapist by phone today, as I progress through the begining of trauma work I'm finding that this article speaks to 'me codependent' to what I hope to achieve Some Day as 'Me, healed of...
The first few weeks of shutdown were very stressful for me, mostly because I didn't know what would happen with work. My site transitioned well over to working from home and I did not have a loss in pay. Working from home hasn't been so bad but I would still rather be at work. Early on during quarantine I began walking daily just to get out of the house for a bit and give myself some space....