My divorce is now final. I am ....well I don't really know. I decided to write about it in my journal. If anyone wants to read it then that is fine. I'm numb. I'm in shock. I'm deeply hurt. I'm amazed that I am still able to breathe. Not that I am breathing that well but I'm breathing. I honestly didn't think I would make it through this. But, I did. After almost 38 years of marriage I am now ...well, not sure...My family is worried about me like this but they know I will get through this. I'm the oldest of 3 sisters and they hate seeing their big sister going through so much pain. They want it to stop. They are tired of seeing me like this. I want it to stop too. But it doesn't. The hurt is still too painful. It is done. It is finished. So....now I have to get on with what is left of my life. The future looks so bleak. I just want to ride out into the sunset and never come back. I want my family back. I want this never to have happened. But it has. Why? Because he is a very selfish man. Sorry, I thought I could get through this but I can't. It is hard to type through the tears. Just please pray for me. I know that I will make it but I never wanted to live the rest of my life alone.
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