Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Divorce after 17 yrs AND trying to Move On

deleted_user
deleted_user
How do you even move on? I think about it constantly.

I keeping thinking.....I really want to "pay him back" for what he did. I want to find a great man to parade in front of my soon to be ex and smile. How sick is that!!!! Nothing would bother him more than seeing me with another man (he has told me this repeatedly). That said, I would never do that, but I do think about it.

I know what I just said will not help me in ...moving on....It just hurts so bad to to know your stbx is "happy" with fruits of their indiscretions and I am left... well just sad and carrying all of the responsibility of the life we had built. Not that I would have it any other way. I don't EVER want him back and I want the responsibility of our children... I suppose I just want to SCREAM about it and well I want him to feel some of my pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever truly be able to "move on", so instead I concentrate on "moving forward". The pain comes with me, but maybe some day it will fall away. I probably won't notice it that day, but I'll look back at some point and realize that I haven't been in pain. Maybe for a day at first, then a few, then a week, ...
deleted_user
deleted_user
The best revenge is to work on yourself and to live authentically. Making him jeleous will not make you happy. Make yourself truly happy by doing things you enjoy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry for your pain. I have been going through much the same in the emotional arena. I have been seeing a counselor since my breakup and have talked to him about the grief, the denial, the anger, the vindictive feelings, the sadness, and the back and forth of all the different emotions. I know that it feels overwhelming. He recommended books on grieving. It helped me to understand the process I was going through and understanding that all the emotions I was feeling were normal. Remember that you will heal. It will happen. Take care of yourself and be compassionate with yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
well, i don't think it is sick. i am sure that many of us would like our x to feel empathy for us. i would love for mine to just say sorry about the lies and meanness, but i am realizing--so what? what is important is how i feel. i can affect how i feel by doing things that make me feel better. moving on is hard and i like that idea of moving forward. it seems more manageable.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I could have wrote what you did myself....sorry for your pain. I try to think of him as dead most days, probably not healthy, but I am left holding everything....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good for you for getting it out.In the different stages that we go through on this journey through reubuilding our lives, I personally give my self to do what ever I need to get through it. Saylng that, Walking in front of him with om would just be a temp fix for you, and than after t was over you would still have the sadness. There a lot of people here on this site that walk you through this stage. They did me and I will be ever grateful.
Che2
Che2
I know exactly what you mean.

It's not sick to want to see them squirm a little..for a change. It's human.

I think I have decided that moving on is simply living and life has it's own way of taking us in new directions. I'm not trying hard..even trying at all. It just happens..but only if you get out of bed and participate a little :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I filed for divorce two weeks ago, but until it is finalized and house sold, business that we both work in settled, we live and work together. Yesterday, I walked into the store, and there he was with the woman he was seeing and prompted the divorce. I guess I have no right to complain - but how mean, and ever so briefly, I wanted revenge, big revenge. But, I am determined that living well will be my revenge. When we work out the tangibles, I will start a life I have always wanted, do things I have always wanted to do, and have a sounder relationship with my children. I hope for this for myself -- I hope for this for you as well!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you so much for your replies. I am very thankful to have found this site and and the support of such great people. THANK YOU!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Kate- I am so sorry. That must have been heartbreaking to see. In my case, before he moved out of the house, "she" was calling our house. (He thought this was okay as we had already decided to divorce) He would come home at 1:30 in the am talking and laughing while talking to her on his cell. That was the end of the line for me... that night. Told him NO MORE, get out ASAP!!!

I just reached the point where I told him I cannot see or talk to him at all for awhile. I need to work on healing and I can't do that when I have to see or talk to him daily.

I feel for you and your current situation Kate. Stay srong.
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