From what are you disconnecting? Do you have any reason to think he is stalking you or observing you?
I read some of your page. You are too young to be throwing in the towel. You have a long life ahead of you. This will pass and you will feel like living again.

He emailed, called, and texted me for a while and I told him to back off. He did for a couple of months, then emailed again. Wants to know how the kids and grandkids are. They want nothing to do with him either. He doesn't understand why we can't just be civil and all be friends.

He is trying to make ME feel guilty for protecting my feelings?

Crappy that it runed out that way for you. This site has really helped me deal with things so I can be honest in other mediums where I could not.

Don't give up this medium of support. What can you lose, really, by staying, even if he does find out?

I cannot explain it. I just don't want him to know anything about me. He wants to come over and cut the lawn, do chores, even have dinner, the three of us, me, him and the OW who is a family member!!!

He had an affair with the OW off and on for two years in front of my grown daughters. Promised to break it off. Told my daughters what a horrible person I am, told them lies about me. When I confronted him as to why he told them these horrible things, he only shrugged.

It's hard to open up again. We question even our own judgments.

I feel your concern. For the last few days, warnings here that some are scamming us has led me to disconnect from DS.

I decided today that I would reconnect because this is helping me, and I will not allow my fears to keep me from getting the help I need.

I have had to analyze what is reasonable disconnect, all those who cannot or will not help me get through all this, and what is reasonable connect, DS and those who really are cheering for my success.

What ever you do, don't "let" him take any more from you. You are loved!!!

Thanks, Sofia, also to Thriver and Garrison. I am usually such a confident person, but this has knocked the wind out of me.

You can keep your journal private and anytime you really don't feel safe, erase everything.
He sounds very very strange. How are your children holding up?

My grown girls have completely disconnected from him. I do not answer his emails anymore. It is better when we don't hear from him.

He wants us to all get together and be one big happy family, says it happens all the time. Well, not this time.

I think that after such a betrayal disconnecting is the only thing that saved me. I want absolutely nothing to do with him, he doesn't deserve my time or attention. Your x doesn't have a right to be in your life he threw away that right when he cheated. I too am paranoid about him finding things out about me, he is on this site and he uses fake identities to try to befriend me.

i severed all my connections with my ex. it was the best thing i could have done. i dont ever want to know what or who she is with. hurts too much to think about it. i never would want to be friends with someone that has meant so much to me. its also not good to live with fear. if she looks me up and tries to find out what it is that im upto, shes more welcome to it. i will not let her win by making me paranoid. i want to move on and thats the only thing i care about.