Go.

Thanksgiving is best spent with family, if possible.

Think of all of us that would love that opportunity, but dont have the kids for the first time this holiday season.

Hope it turns out well.

I forgot to add this...one of those days I guess. I have to decide between either my dads or my brothers house. I am just having a hard time deciding which house to go to. I figured that it being my first turkey day divorced I would already have to make decisions like this. Lucky me.

Oh shoot. i missed the TWO invitations.

go to both, if its feasible. ive had double thanksgiving dinners for 12 years. im kind of glad to only have to scarf one dinner this year!!!

Since you want your girls to see your dad go there and then maybe you could stop by your brother's afterward but spend the majority of the time with your dad.

Is it an option for everyone to have dinner together? If not, I would arrange to have dinner at one house and dessert at the other. Just be honest with both hosts and let them know that you want to spend time at both places. If you go to them, then you can control how long you spend at either/both places. It may turn out to be a blessing if you were to go to dinner with brother and things turned a little tense. You can simply excuse yourself, saying it's time to go over to dads!
Whatever you do, try to relax and enjoy your time with your family.

I agree. I like the "go to both" idea... just think, your kids may eat so much, you won't have to feed them for the rest of the week. LOL If they're going to get hurt feelings over you splitting your time, then tell them to get over it. Trust me, they will... eventually. :)

Why are they having separate dinners - is that part of the tension issue? Is that normal for your family? And is it normal that you have to choose between them?

go spend the time with your family, don't think about what is going on with your brother and his wife. your dad and your girls should see each other as often as possible. you may be surprised and have a wonderful time.

I don't know the dynamics of your family or the health of you father, but try to look at things this way. Why not try to get your Dad to do the travelling? As opposed to getting one or two families (with spouses, children, etc) to do the travelling. Can you not have everybody to your place, or your brother's place?

If things are "tense" at your brother's place, perhaps give them a break from their home and the issues that may reside there.

Just some thoughts.

I would suggest both as well. Sometimes that's not possible if they're in different cities, etc. We've done it where we have a second dinner on Friday. We've had so many divorces in our family over the years that people have learned to be adaptive during the holidays.

This is also my 1st Thanksgiving away from my X also. yet I had to promise to be there...and I will. It falls on my sons B-Day also.....and this is when I meet the OW.......I know TG is a family get-together so I will be there....

If it can olny be one due to distance, go to Dad's odds are your brother will be around longer!