I have kids in the mix so that complicates things. I tried to be amicable for awhile and received nothing but venom in return. I keep it only to the facts at hand now. Usually by email or IM. The less I hear her the better my life is. Plus it provides excellent documentation.

I talk almost in 3rd person it's so neutral. That works best for me.

It is impossible to pretend my ex doesn't exist. Our communication was as always, I did all the work & over communicated while he did nothing and withheld information or totally twisted the truth. Unfortunately, that's the way he always was and always will be short of an emergency lobotomy :). Me? I prefer a complete ex-otomy!

I told my EX to talk to me via the lawyers while we were in dispute.
Which btw was odd since we all lived the same house. I would only communicate to him in the hallway, kitchen.. wherever.. regarding the children and daily items.

I personally want to )&(&(^)^097 HIM!.. but I have to keep the venom in check until my youngest is of legal age .... she is 7 now.. going to be a long haul.

anyhow.. I think you have to keep it professional, matter of fact.. keep your emotions in check... prepare a script beforehand if that helps you stay on track... keep calm. You are the bigger person here.

Good luck.. I have to deal with actually seeing the EX almost every day cos we have 3 children and live in the same small community.

I would just do it via e mail or text. Keeps the emotions out and you don't have to see their face.
My STBX and I live in the same house still but I only ask questions via e mail. I try to limit conversation as much as possible.

I am trying to communicate by e-mail only - when I did talk to him he only broke my heart again - so back to no communication unless absolutely necessary about the kids.

We cannot communicate at all. When we talk on the phone about necessary stuff that we need to work through without our lawyers, he cannot help but bring up stuff that's related to court to argue about it. He doesn't even ask about the kids. He hasn't seen or talked to them in two months. And that wasn't by his choice...his sister brought them over to his place for 15 minutes after he cancelled his visitation with them. She was seriously furious. He saw them two weeks prior...before that he didn't see or talk to them for 3 or 4 months. I always email him about events in their life...graduation, confirmation, ballgames, etc. and he has yet to show up to a single thing...now he doesn't even reply to me. So basically I would say that all communication is done through lawyers and I don't doubt that I'll rarely even talk to him after our settlement is over...fine by me but it sucks for our kids.

The last few times that we have talked he has put me down and made mean comments like I'm glad to be rid of you. I am planning to email him and let him know that will be the only form of communication for the time being. My problem is we have 2 children together and I want what is best for them. We need to somehow get along soon so that we can raise them together. I just don't know how to do that right now.

Email. AOL is good because you can Unsend a message if you want to.