My problem starte about 8 years ago. In a nutshell, after several years of mysterious symptoms, I discovered that I have a chronic illness. It is not necessarily life threatening, but it is incurable and was causing serious problems for me. After several years of trying to deal with unsympathetic doctors (I am a physician, by the way) I was able to find someone who was able to elp me. He put me on some medication and my symptoms immediately improved as did my quality of life. Both my wife and I were thrilled. However, the medication caused some unfortunate side effects, namely loss of libido and erectile dysfunction. My wife became extremely concerned about this and I had to undergo an extensive evaluation whch turned out to be negative, as I had thought it would be. We began to have issues regarding sex and she felt I was not trying hard enough. She recomended several books for me to read, but, ultimately came to feel rejected and depressed. We subsequently tried marital counselling, but it was not helpfl in that our sexual issues were the only issue. Otherwise we were very compatible and had a great relationship. We then tried a sex therapist, but were unable to afford lenghty therapy, particularly when i knew what the origin of the problem was. Time went on and I would periodically attempt to initiate sex, but she indicated she was not interested at that point. Her position was that I had not done enough o tried hard enough and so she was done with that aspect of our relationship. She told me she had built a wall so high it was essentially unbreachable (by me, that is). She also told me she was not willing to live without sex and essentially gave me the option of leaving or staying in the house with she and our kids, while she (discretely) looked for other avenues to meet her sexual needs. I should also mention, during this period, she experienced a major depressive episode and was started on multiple, high dose anti-depressants. In her mind, this problem is my sole creation and I have to bear the consequences of my inability to satisfy my wife sexually. I love my wife, but I will not be the cuckolded husband, lways wondering what is going on. She does not know I know about her extra-curricular activities. and has continued to act as if noothing has changed. She has been nice and supportive of me during some recent work issues. She comes to tuck me in and tell me she loves me. Obviously I am having some major cognitive dissonance. Any comments would be greatly appreciated, one way or the other. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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