Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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daughter's wedding

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so dreading next week---my daughter is getting married on the 15th and my divorce will be final on the 19th. In the last 4 mo. since I moved out I have had very little contact with my stbx, occasional emails and have spotted him at church a time or two. I left because of his verbal abuse and 2nd girlfriend in 2 years. Anyway, this should be such a happy time for our daughter and our family and I feel gulity that I am not looking forward to it. Every time I see him I cry and not just tear up, I lose it. How am I going to get through a rehersal dinner, wedding and reception all the while smiling and pretending all is right with the world? I really just want to run and hide. Any advice?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do it for your daughter. Over the years I have done it too. I had custody of my two boys. I had to have ex around during their graduations from high school, college, their marraiges, parties for grandkids, holidays, etc. You get used to it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
bring a male friend to help you get through the wedding. I'm pretty sure the OW will make her way into the wedding or reception. It doesn't have to be someone you're involved with just someone you can look forward to talking to and maybe dancing with.

If you do go alone and start crying just say that they are tears of joy for your daughter and her happiness. Nobody will question that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just remember it is for her, not about you and the stbx. It is her day and make it the best you can for her.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wait, this IS a happy day. This day is all about your daughter and her Joy. Celebrate with her and FOR her, and for yourself...for having raised a wonderful woman!

If people ask you about HIM...say something like ..."we are here to celebrate my daughters wedding, lets not dwell on other things". Tell a close relative, sibling or friend your concerns and ask them to stick close to you...a few even.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wpw what a tough time for you. that betrayal is so hard. Just say a little prayer before you go in to keep your power and not let him have this day. YOu are right this is about you and your daughter and he is just a guest.
Be really good to yourself there and after.
deleted_user
deleted_user
you need to read your profile, how much you have grown since leaving your H. remember why. you need to go to this wedding and feel liberated, you found the strength to realize you didn't deserve to be treated the way he was treating you. everytime you see him, you need to take a relaxing breath and say thank God i had the courage and strength to do what i did. hold your head up. all is right with the world, your not being abused anymore. you set the boundry and said this is not acceptable. so go and have a wonderful time during this occaison. over the years this is what is abuse has done, it has robbed you of your self-esteem and self-confidence. give it back to yourself and what better time, when family is all around to see.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks guys for all the great advice and encouragement. I can do this!
deleted_user
deleted_user
bring a friend along-the one you know will help you through it. Or, if you have to-medication-some ativan or something. You do what you have to do to make this day about your daughter. I am not a pusher of meds, but you do what you have to.
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