Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So, after chatting with someone on DS last night, I have thoughts swirling around in my head. My stbx was jealous of my relationship with my 1st ex- the father of my children. He thinks we were too friendly, and it hurt his ego. I reacted by pushing him away and basically saying that's the way it is. I now see that was a very incorrect thing to do- it stifled our communication and left him feeling alone and rejected. And he is a person who already has abandonment issues. And he pretty much can't stand the mother of his child so I think he doesnt really get how I can be on such friendly terms with my 1st ex.
Am I going to continue running into this problem should I date again? Should I learn how to distance myself more from my 1st ex? Or do I find someone out there who is more secure and understanding?
I want to tell my stbx that I am so sorry for what I put him through by not paying attention to his feelings and that I was wrong to essentially put him 2nd in the feelings department- maybe one day I will get that chance. Before he left he told me I need to distance myself from my 1st ex, but I brushed it off. Now I see that doing what I did was very harmful to our marriage.
Any thoughts on this?
Am I going to continue running into this problem should I date again? Should I learn how to distance myself more from my 1st ex? Or do I find someone out there who is more secure and understanding?
I want to tell my stbx that I am so sorry for what I put him through by not paying attention to his feelings and that I was wrong to essentially put him 2nd in the feelings department- maybe one day I will get that chance. Before he left he told me I need to distance myself from my 1st ex, but I brushed it off. Now I see that doing what I did was very harmful to our marriage.
Any thoughts on this?
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I don't get along with my son's mom, and that is on her and her bitterness about our relationship ending. I'd like to see it change and be like you have with your ex, but I'm powerless to do anything about it- BUT, I also have learned from it and know that I never want to be like that with anyone I date and their kids dad, nor do I want my ex to even play a part in my relationships by me empowering her to with her negativity affecting me.
I'm quite confident you were not trying to make your new husband #2 with any sort of intent or malice, but it was just reality of how it was going to be. I don't think you were making him #2 to your ex, but to your children, which was absolutely appropriate. I don't think you'd be friendly with your first ex if the kids were not involved, so it was not a matter of choosing him over your new husband (or you'd still be with the old one).
You'll find someone who is more secure and understanding, and you deserve that!!! (HUG)