ok for me, it would be awsome if the girl came up to a guy for a change. but I guess just show interest. ya know for me being as helpless as mud in this, it would be great for a woman to make the first move...

1. Invite them up for coffee.
2. Do anything they say to please them.
3. If they even look at you jump on them and give them a big kiss.
4. If you go out explain that you are independent and pay for everything.
5. Dont let them move in till second date.
6. Offer to wash their car.


....you got that so far?...lol.

Sock puppet that sounds to much like my marriage!LOL

me, if I don't get some some I'm outta there first date. lol just kidding.
I agree, I like when women aren't intimidated to talk to me, and also, are a bit forward but not in a "too forward" mentality. Also, I will not meet/date someone from a bar, although the last dozen or so women I've met, have been from... bars, clubs, pubs, restaurant/lounges, etc...
Do I have a problem? No, just where my dumb friends always want to go, thus meeting these poeple. Maybe I need to stop giving out my nubmer and/or taking theirs?
I met a woman in a coffee house and she gave me her number, let's me to go vm, I stopped calling afte cpl times.
Another, invites me to meet her and friends out, after getting together for about 4-5 dates, then leaves without saying good bye then sends me an email saying she's scared of what can happen between us so soon, etc. what gives? dating is in my opinion super overrated and too many times ppl you meet are just super flaked out. But then again, I only have a few instances to go off of. I met my ex in the mall shopping...
we all know how that turned out.
so, where's the best place to meet ppl? Connections through friends, online, at the supermarket? When someone finds the answer to that, let me know.

I'm wondering what gives too. I have started dating after my divorce and it seems like everything moves too fast! I'm not necessarily talking about sex, but commitment - doesn't that sound crazy coming from a woman? I'm afraid I was so needy in the beginning of my new relationship that I agreed to commit to the relationship. And now I'm wondering what's so wrong with going slow and seeing other people. It makes me feel guilty because my marriage ended over infidelity, but I'm not married yet!

Is that really the way it is now? You can't date more than one person at a time? Does everyone have serial monogamy in dating relationships?

As for me, I just want the company of a sweet and caring lady. I'd love to be cuddled, hold hads and maybe walk on the beach at sunset or sit infront of a cozy fireplace and snuggle. If things went farther it would be fine but would be up to the lady and I would like it if she made the first move because the insecurities my stbx now makes me feel. I think bars and clubs are out of the question. I have been meeting a few ladies on MySpace, Paltalk, Church, and at work. I think guys expect too much out of the ladies now a days and that scares them off. Take things slow. Enjoy each others company. This is what I am looking for as a man.

As for me, I just want the company of a sweet and caring lady. I'd love to be cuddled, hold hads and maybe walk on the beach at sunset or sit infront of a cozy fireplace and snuggle. If things went farther it would be fine but would be up to the lady and I would like it if she made the first move because the insecurities my stbx now makes me feel. I think bars and clubs are out of the question. I have been meeting a few ladies on MySpace, Paltalk, Church, and at work. I think guys expect too much out of the ladies now a days and that scares them off. Take things slow. Enjoy each others company. This is what I am looking for as a man.

I think it would be kewl if the woman made the first move. At least show some interest like darkhour said. I'm helpless when it comes to dating! Show some interest and then I can take it from there. Don't make me compete with other guys! If you're gonna play the field, i'm outta there!

I made up my mind not to date till divorce was over. Now its been over for near two years. It looks like I enjoy the peace, lack of drama, and freedom to do what I want for the 1st time in my life. That combined with irrational divorce laws make me fully appreciate where I am at.

I have my moments but afraid it will take an act of God to get me to move in that direction.

I'm 57 anyway. Companionship is what I miss most, and doubt modern woman thinking allows for that anymore. It seems to be looked at as a codependent weakness if you listen to the media ophats out there.

One thing I look for is that the woman is all healed. I have enough my own "Stuff" to handle, I really don't need to handle thiers too. If the first conversation is about the ex and how he treated you, this means to me that you are not ready to date. I then say it was nice to meet you and then run.

Dont get me wrong we all have issues, but when I meet you for the first time on a date that is the last thing I want to hear about.

The only place I will listen to that is here!!

Guess we'd better hurry up with the dating advice before the killjoys come on here and try to kick us out ;P Which is a good topic for another discussion (i.e. moving on when you're ready), but that's for later...

These are my expectations and do not necessarily reflect the views of others, so here goes.

* Manners. Where did these go? There's a time and place for letting it all out, but at least have the decency to try to come across as couth. That can come and go as you get more comfortable with someone, but geez.

* It's not a frikken competition. I don't want to know about your ex, and I really don't want to talk about mine. If all I hear is "My ex this" and "My ex that", I'm going to say thank you for the date and probably not call again. Everyone's been through some crap, but again, there's a time and a place for that.

* First impressions. If you spend the whole time while we're out on a date checking your phone or texting other people, then obviously you have done me the courtesy of demonstrating what I have to look forward to if things continue between us. Thanks, buh-bye.

* Old Skool. Guys assume that if you're going out on a date, he should probably pay. Some women want to pay for everything as well. Agree upfront how the tabs are going to be split or paid for, but don't make a big deal out of it.

* Physical intimacy. Don't go trying to score on the first date. This goes for men and women. If there's chemistry, good for you! But if you're serious about a the possiblity of this becomming a long-term thing, keep it in your pants. If you give it up right off the bat, there's not much to be said if things don't work out later on.

This has been helpful for me b/c I have no clue.

ABorden - I agree with everything you said...

My expectations when getting out there dating was that a man needed to beable to take care of himself. I took care of my ex-husband for 16 years and I was not going to do that again. I also made sure I was looking for someone with the same beliefs and ethics as myself. You have to weed through alot of people to find what you want, give in a little and in the end you will find what you are looking for.

If you go to yahoorelationships.com you can find a great article about the "musts" in a dating relationship. There is good information in here.

ABorden... you hit the mark for me...

I have to work on the 'talking about the X' thing simply because most everything I've done in the last 16-17 years included him...

I went to a hockey game with a guy that spent each intermission or the phone with a buddy!!! OK, I get the hint... do you even know my name???

I don't mind paying... I'll admit that I have expense taste... but if the guy wants to do I picnic in a park, that is fine with me, it is quality time I cherish, not how much the event cost...

And in the 'physical' department??? Please remember that I am new at this... 16 years with one person (I know, a rarity in this day and age, but still...) If we both have kids at home... you'll know I am 'there' when I suggest we go away for a weekend together!!! Not the backseat of the car!!!

BTW... I've heard some say they wouldn't want what they'd find at a bar... I was thinking of going to a sports bar to watch the games that are Pay-per-view, and I don't have tickets to... Is that slummy???

The key is understanding what you want and then looking for someone else with those same desires. Some people want serial monogamy. Some people want to date around. Some people want to get married again. Some people want to have kids. Dating is about getting to know the other people and seeing if you have enough in common to want to learn more. Don't go in with huge expectations. You will meet a lot of no ways, a few maybes and, if you are lucky, some that really interest you. But if you know yourself and what you want it makes the whole thing a lot easier. There are no rules. Be yourself, be comfortable with who you are, and have fun. And if you see red flags, don't feel bad about saying a quick good-bye and beating a path to the door.