Most women are not into sportsex so you have to consider you could hurt someone. You could also get hurt by prematurely jumping in. Most people here will say no until the ink is dry. I think if the marriage is dead, dead, dead, and both parties agree, I don't see any other problems with it.

I am dating right now but I am taking it really, really slow. He knows about my situation and everything. My ex doesn't know because I don't want things to get ugly if he finds out. Even though it shouldn't because he's the one who cheated on me during our marriage. We have filed the papers and we are just waiting for the divorce to be finalized.

< not most women

that said.. yes.. I did date before the ink was dry... the divorce and separation was close to 3 years.. sometimes these things drag on.. and well I was not getting any younger.. I needed to go out and have fun.. I went out with groups of pple mostly, but I was dating too.
Everyone knew I was separated, mom with kids.. not looking for my next Ex.

it really depends on a lot of things.. in my case it did not phase me what he thought, I never flaunted it. And, we were legally separated. Kinda odd since we were in the same house til after the divorce.

I was reclaiming my life. My ability to make choices that make me happy for once.

I plan to take some "time off" to get to know myself again. I've never really lived by myself so I'm gonna take advantage of the situation and enjoy a little "me" time.

nice cape there BananaMan!

Yea but that doesn't aproach the question of would i be as bad as her cheating since i am bound to the same oath or is that oath broken by her cheating. if it is i would like to go out and have some fun for once in my life, and hopefully start dating

If you have already filed and are working on the divorce, then no..you are not as bad as her. Go for it! You have do what makes YOU happy...if going out with someone who makes you smile is what makes you happy, then go for it (as long as you or she has filed and the proceedings are under way)...just my opinion.

Many factors:

1. are you legally separated or just split up recently?

2. if you are legally separated to what you want to do.. oath is on hold, since you are making moves to get divorced.

3. if you are just split up for now.. then... you are still bound by the oath is my thinking.. until you show signs that you are heading for divorce court.

so.. I would say.. if no legal separation... then you are bound legally and morally to being married and the oaths you took...

what dating during a divorce for the hurt or "left" spouse does is just kind of mask what's going on. I will tell you while on a date, you're probably going to compare the date to your ex to be and look at her as a potential long term prosepect as opposed to just having fun. depending on your age or women you attract, there's two types out there, those that are looking for a lifelong partner and those that potentially want nothing more than good times because their lives are complicated like yours. If you're going to date essentially to see if it upsets your ex to be, that's not the right reason either. I have learned that I like dating, but I like being by myself too with no one to make feel good but me and my children. focusing on myself has given me power over me, and not havig to rely on good feelings from someone of the opposite sex. hope you find happiness

that's the problem is i have to have someone to rely on and be there with me and for me to be with (including my kids). I can't stand to be alone and it's been rough. me and my wife split in june i filed for divorce in july and have a hearing on november 5th

I am in the same boat, but I don't feel ready to start dating. I am having fun reaching out to my single friends and family. This whole single world is so different than 20 years ago for me. I got married very young and didn't explore that much. I have 3 kids so I am always busy with them too. So I guess if you feel ready to have some sort of realtionship go for it!

I know it is hard. My husband left in in July of 2006 and still no papers have been filed. He is out having fun and yes I go out sometimes but not with men. I feel until you are completely divorced, people should not be messing around or having sex with someone. I think my stbx is but I really have no prof. I just feel it is wrong.

put that topic in google and read the pages

these are the ones I found most helpful

http://www.gagelaw.com/DatingDuringDivorce.shtml

http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/ask_april/dating-during-divorce.htm

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/legal_hazards.html

http://www.ncfamilylaw.com/download/date46.html

Religion say married forever for state level is temporary. Most people here say no. I say for you will determine if you have any regrets for the same for wife has done to you. If you accuse your wife for her actions for a cheater. She now can accuse you as well.

what goes around comes around. my wife opened up that door after 4 years of total loyalty. once that trust was broken there was little else that mattered anymore. so at this point if someone else comes along, i would not think twice, she didn't.