
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I have been married for ten years, most of which I was desperate to have children. My partner and I really wanted children. He was a very closed kind of person, most of any discussion about having a family or how 'we' were doing were always discussed privately with his parents. this frustrated me a lot, but in our culture... it is normal for this kind of beahviour. He recently went away to see his parents in pakistan, this was a year ago and then when he came back he was just different. I then found he had been trying to get re-married in Pakistan. I was devastated but he was blatant and said I want children or else I am leaving, as though it was my fault. We finally got on the waiting list for NHS IVF treatment. but he said, I'm not waiting and left. the worst of it was he ws initially being 'nice' to me. He came over to the house and asked that I sign a piece of paper saying I consent to his second marraige abroad, when i said no, he got very cross. Next thing I know i get a letter from his solicitor accusing me of adultery. I was mortified. when i called him he said I deserved it for not being a dutiful wife and he basically said' this will teach you'
funny thing is at first I just didn't want a divorce at all. The very idea hurt too much. he left and now wants half the house. but because his i didnt agree with his reason for the divorce, I have decided to file for divorce. I am angry, hurt, bitter and very cross. I have caring friends and people but the whole thing is so hard to deal with and I am now living alone. This is a new experience for me... I have never lived alone before. This was my first relationship ever but the humiliation of his accusations and the entire situation has made me way to afraid to ever consider another relationship. In a culture like mine (I'm asain) where divorce is seen as taboo, its really hard to be able to talk to someone who truely understands..... any support or advice is welcome!!
funny thing is at first I just didn't want a divorce at all. The very idea hurt too much. he left and now wants half the house. but because his i didnt agree with his reason for the divorce, I have decided to file for divorce. I am angry, hurt, bitter and very cross. I have caring friends and people but the whole thing is so hard to deal with and I am now living alone. This is a new experience for me... I have never lived alone before. This was my first relationship ever but the humiliation of his accusations and the entire situation has made me way to afraid to ever consider another relationship. In a culture like mine (I'm asain) where divorce is seen as taboo, its really hard to be able to talk to someone who truely understands..... any support or advice is welcome!!
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Stand firm. You have every right to half of the house and it it's pure sour grapes on his part that you wouldn't "Let" him have is cake and eat it too. No one deserves this kind of humiliation, it is a form of abuse and you are the victim here. I support you! Be strong and stand your ground.
I am British but living in the US. I think that you are at a cultural crossroads. You can throw off many years of your upbringing and switch to the other British culture where divorce is 'normal' and you can be anindependent, strong woman pursuing her own interests or you can remain in the culture that has divorce as a taboo, and perhaps struggling with the social mores therein. Has your Imam spoken with you?
I too am of South Asian ancestry... I understand the twisted thinking here.
I would tell you now to protect yourself.
There are lots of Women's support groups for Asian women in your similar situation in GB. Find them and tell them what is going on and that you need assistance.
I married a Caucasian fellow here in Canada. I am Canadian.. lived here 40 years.. the family interference has always been my family. The old ways and traditions, despite us never lived in India or Pakistan. The thinking is twisted, and the men are never wrong in the culture. Blame is always on the women.
Find yourself a network of Asian women to help you thru this and with the legal stuff. Do not let him bully you nor his family bully you.
I might be able to find someone to help you in the UK..my best friend is there doing her PHd in London right now, her Masters was on Violence and Torture of Women.
message me and we will try to find you some help.
I definately went against the grain in filing for divorce..but I cannot allow my culter to dictate my happiness.
We are living in 2007, technology, science...many things have progressed beyond belief during our lifetime.
India and Pakistan, most of these so called third world countries are very advanced. Most citizens have English as their first language. Yet, some of these countries are very backwards in their thinking when it comes to how they treat their women.
Women are still chattel..they have no rights in many countries. A man's word will always be believed before a woman's.
Ultra-sound technology is used for gender testing. Boys are still preferred over girls, and a reason for a forced abortion.
"The Family" still dictates a lot. Many women are living under the control of the husbands family.
Not an easy life. Even if you are far away, in the UK, Canada, USA, the old ways seep thru and the pressure is great to obey if you have no one close by to help you.
Again, I would like to ask you to seek assistance from a network of South Asian women who can befriend you and help you thru the difficult time and the hurtful lies that your husband is subjecting you to.
You are not alone. Others understand the culture and the situation.