Ok, well I am back from my "vacation" in Dallas. I was very happy to see my princesses. It felt good to be in Dallas, but there was so much tension in the air due to my wife's confusion. I made love to her the first day I was there, which was a wonderful sign to me that she did, indeed, want to try and work on our marriage. I was very happy for the first couple of days, and then the situation seemed to turn. She said that she wanted to try and work on being friends and not do the marital "stuff". This confused me as to how things were going, especially after my visit with her in Lubbock (a couple of weeks earlier....she had work in Lubbock and I visited her). That trip was wonderful and she seemed so optimistic about us and happy to be with me. We watched movies and hung out with each other and of course made love to each other, and then when I left....she seemed to change again. Anyways, I tried JUST being friends with her for about 3 hours, but I cannot just be a friend to her......I want to be that plus so much more. This is the kind of stuff that has been going on for 3 months now. I know that she loves me, so what the fuck is she so afraid of? I know I have shown her that I am serious about the changes I wish to make for our marriage.....I have been doing everything I can for three months now, but somehow she just does not see it......so I told her that she should return home to see how serious about our relationship I am. Anyways, the trip continues and we make love again, but then she pulls back AGAIN! After that, she says that she will not return to our home.......BUT THEN, on the day that I was leaving, she had to go the hospital because her blood pressure sky-rocketed......they got it down and she was released......she was exhausted, so she passed out. When she awoke, she told me that I was amazing to her and that during her ordeal, all she could think of was me. She said that she could not imagine seeing another man grow old with her. She kissed me and told me that she loved me. .......and now....she says she is confused again. This month is our 9th wedding anniversary...... I know that I will have the worst holidays of my life, this year.....I just pray that I can do something to help make my daughters' Christmas a good one, but I fear that my wife will completely end us....which, of course.....is the worst thing I think could happen to our family.......
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