
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
As i start my divorce precedings i am in FEAR! Based on all the info from friends,family,court docs,and studies it seems that i as the Father..ie see MAN have a high probability of being screwed.
I am in such fear that i am constantly allowing my stbx to control and manipulate me.I do this so as to not "wake the bear" so to speak.I feel as though with the knowledge i have i am REACTING to her vs ACTING for my own best interest.
I am at a loss as to how to stop the cycle. :(
_Savery1
I am in such fear that i am constantly allowing my stbx to control and manipulate me.I do this so as to not "wake the bear" so to speak.I feel as though with the knowledge i have i am REACTING to her vs ACTING for my own best interest.
I am at a loss as to how to stop the cycle. :(
_Savery1
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Stay in Check at all times.
Do not respond to her at all.
All response should be done thru the lawyers. Yes, it is costly.
Document everything. Keep a close journal.
Do not show your cards, your emotion.
Do not say things out of anger in front of the children, family members or pple you consider friends, or in front of collegues.
Things come back to bite you later.
Have faith man!.. I know of several fathers who did not get screwed over. My Ex for one. I choose to be fair. I could of gotten everything, it was the judge who suggested we mediate and barter things.
My tenant for one got his two kids, my former tenant had his son joint custody, I know dozens of men who have walked away with their children, some have rec'd spousal support I suspect.
Be strong.. do not lose your cool.. and watch the beast!..
My Ex was in front of the judge.. and spoke, cried.. said too much.
I spoke briefly about the children and how they were doing. I put the kids first, and that is what the judge saw. Not just because they were girls and their natural place is with a mom. That is a crock btw.
be well.. and stay strong.
www.dadrights.com
has some good material on it.
www.dadsrights.com
Yes as a male you may get screwed, but if you have a good lawyer and can stay calm and not react to her in anyway then the judge will see that.
If you have proof of anything make sure to bring it.
Most of all stay calm and DO NOT REACT TO ANYTHING!!
I love my kids and i only want to be their father.Be their for them.Love them.
Note to self: "Do Not Fear" is noted 365 times in Gods' Word.Maybe it's time i take ownership of that! :)
As for custody, if you are the person who has been the primary caretaker over the years then you have a good shot at getting custody. Or if your stbx has some 'issues' that would preclude her from custody. But, on the other hand, if your wife has been a stay at home mom for years and/or has done the majority of the care taking then, naturally, she would be the logical choice for primary custody.
Personally, my stbx and I chose 50/50 custody but our son is a teenager and that makes it a lot easier.
I know, Savery, that your wife is upset about the divorce. It make take her a while to put aside her feelings of anger and hurt and decide to do the best thing for the kids. See if you can get her to a counselor to discuss fair and logical custody arrangements. Good luck.
you, like I, will do our best for our kids
English Law is definitely on the side of the Mother.
.
Yep, I agree with you and all the others. It's as if all you can do is bend over and smile.
The cycle will stop when all the ink has been dry for months.
I guess the unknown...
I did leave the family home and i fear that my decision to leave will somehow work against me.
Will a judge see that as abandonment?
Will she be able to use the fact that when we were separated(and seeking a divorce) i began a relationship and slept with another woman.Unwise i know.
Will a judge see that as adultery?
Will the fact that i worked 2-3 jobs so she could be a stay at home mom and than again so she could go back to school work against me..because she than will have shown that she was the primary caregiver of my son.
Will a judge see this as evidence for giving her sole custody?
I am most afraid of losing my son.She has threatened to take him away 1000's of miles.Of not letting me see and using lies and manipulation to keep me as part of her life.I know twisted.
Will a judge let her take him away?
I do not have marital love for her anymore and am emotionally detached romantically to her.Thus why i can physically or emotionally involve myself with someone else and did.
I feel as though she is emotionally bullying me.Yet, i don't know how to respond.I have not been perfect but i don't deserve to be "crucified" forever because i cannot return her love.
Thanks_ Savery1
I dont think any of it will have any bearing at all, unless you flaunted it. You will be screwed over I think, because that is what they do.
You might be heard if she tries to move 1000 miles away. In that case you might get them all summer, and her during the school year.