I agree with 100%, LoveBeingADad. I see counseling as a tool, among many tools, a couple can use to make sure that their marriage stays healthy and on-track. The reason that counseling is not successful once a marriage is in trouble is that so much anger and resentment has built up by that time, that counseling is like trying to put a band-aid on a deep laceration.

On the other hand, if couple actively works on their relationship with a counselor while things are good, they are developing skills that will help get them through the bad times.

IF, I ever get into another committed relationship, it would be on the condition that my partner was willing for us to educate ourselves on good marriage skills, actively 'work' on the marriage before major problems arise and be willing to take the lead sometimes on going to marriage seminars, reading books together, counseling, etc. I also believe, for me, I would need someone who is actively working on his self, trying to understand himself and make himself a better person (even outside of the marriage). As someone here said, "You can't change what you can't acknowledge."
Tall order, I know but after what I've learned going through this separation, I will never again believe that 'love is enough' or 'love conquers all'. It takes so much more to have a really great marriage, or even a good one.

I have been thinking about this too. By the time we started counseling I fear it is too late. We should have been going for years to help us understand how to communicate better. We both recognize we did not address that earlier. Gemini, I think love can conquer all but both parties have to have that love. When one loses the unconditional love it may be too late. Counseling may not fix that.

This may not be such a bad idea. I know in my case my stbx would have never gone to counseling. I found out about things he was doing which I had no idea of thats why I asked him to leave. He still doesn't think he did anything wrong. I my case counseling wouldn't have worked