Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have seen several posts about controlling ex's lately. It really makes me sick. First off - if they are an EX - they have NO say in your personal life. The only say so they may have is with regards to things that relate to or affect your children.
What gets me steamed is when an EX moves on (either before marriage has ended of right after) - yet they sit in judgement of the other spouse who waits to get involved with someone - then uses guilt trips and other means to try to control their EX-spouse.
My first husband could write a book on how to control people. He cut me off from family & friends while we were married, checked my mileage, etc. He even tried to use scripture about being submissive to him AFTER he had remarried and I had nobody to submit to. Here I am (10 years later) and he thinks I need to answer to him about my work schedule, not staying in town when he has kids, how I spend my money, etc. (HE TOTALLY FLIPPED WHEN I WENT TO VEGAS THIS SUMMER AND CLAIMS I NEVER TOLD HIM I WAS GOING UNTIL I WAS ALREADY THERE)
An ex-spouse can only control you to the point that you let them. DO NOT allow them to use your children to make you feel guilty about ANYTHING! If you do - they win! Most of the custodial parents out there have very little time away from their kids to pursue friendships and other relationships.
When you have your kids - be the best parent you can be - when you don't have your kids - live your life the way YOU want to!
What gets me steamed is when an EX moves on (either before marriage has ended of right after) - yet they sit in judgement of the other spouse who waits to get involved with someone - then uses guilt trips and other means to try to control their EX-spouse.
My first husband could write a book on how to control people. He cut me off from family & friends while we were married, checked my mileage, etc. He even tried to use scripture about being submissive to him AFTER he had remarried and I had nobody to submit to. Here I am (10 years later) and he thinks I need to answer to him about my work schedule, not staying in town when he has kids, how I spend my money, etc. (HE TOTALLY FLIPPED WHEN I WENT TO VEGAS THIS SUMMER AND CLAIMS I NEVER TOLD HIM I WAS GOING UNTIL I WAS ALREADY THERE)
An ex-spouse can only control you to the point that you let them. DO NOT allow them to use your children to make you feel guilty about ANYTHING! If you do - they win! Most of the custodial parents out there have very little time away from their kids to pursue friendships and other relationships.
When you have your kids - be the best parent you can be - when you don't have your kids - live your life the way YOU want to!
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
i know he has no say. he can have his opinions, and what he says should not affect me. BUT...he has said things in front of my kids causing them to form opinions about me. btw...i'm not doing anything wrong. he just doesn't approve and is jealous.
I got my point across, he slimed his way out of it, and now he knows I will not let him pop in and out of my life and my house at his whim.
I will however, make sure that when it is time for them to go with him, they are ready and I will be cheerful and positive about telling them goodbye. They already have one parent who acts like they are doing something 'wrong' when they come back home, and I'll be darned if I'll treat them that way about seeing their dad. They do need him. I wish he could learn that it is indeed about THEM needing HIM, instead of the other way around. Our son feels so guilty when he's not 'taking care' of his dad. our children are 11 and 14, so they are not blind and they will work out their own relationship with their father.