Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was engaged, we were pre approved for a house and that's when he said he was done. BUT...he still says he loves me, is committed to me, there's no one else, he wants to be with me for the rest of his life but he doesn't want to get back together. He says he just wants to see where we end up. He is confusing me and any advise, opinions...anything would help.
Please help me get my head back together. I was doing good until he did this. Yes, I would like to be with him. I already thought of that. I also know I have to move forward no matter what. I'm just trying to figure this all out.
Please help me get my head back together. I was doing good until he did this. Yes, I would like to be with him. I already thought of that. I also know I have to move forward no matter what. I'm just trying to figure this all out.
deleted_user
the only thing i can tell you is, and it's going to be very hard. try to move on one day at a time, don't call him, e-mail, text, nothing. it is very confusing what he did, and no way your going to be able to figure it out. let him see that you can move on without him. but above all else, don't contact him. good luck.
deleted_user
My opinion is he wants to see where HE will end up, not the two of you. Most always there is a third party involved. Do not wait for him. Most people will waste a life time on waiting. Let him go. He has already let you go. Chrurop is right do not stay in contact with him. This is going to be a painful time, don't make it last any longer than you have to by waiting to LET GO. I truly feel your pain.Take care and good luck.
deleted_user
Thank you chrurop. I've not contacted him in any way, I picked up the phone without looking at the caller Id...last time I do that. It is hard, we've been together for years, had everything planned out, it's still very confusing, this just makes me want to hold on more.
deleted_user
Thank you too JungleJoe, that helps as well.
deleted_user
Don't get married, it's so hard to undo later. You need to move on and if he honestly loves you, he will come back to you. Just because someone isn't sure he wants the committment (even though he says he does), does not mean there is someone else... I get blamed for that every time I've tried to end my marriage and that makes it more likely that I will.
deleted_user
Thank you too newme3. I've never accused him, he's just always told me he can't move on and then he says all the other stuff. I just listen quietly and then tell him I'm getting off of the phone and he tells me he loves me before he gets off of the phone, he sounds so sincere and that hurts.
deleted_user
well, I am sorry to point this out for you. He gives you a ring, you get a preapproval on a mtge. and then says he needs time. I would say, give him the ring back ASAP and start a new. YOu could proceed at some point with getting back together, but iwll honestly never, ever be the same. If you get a good ten years, then great, but it will come. If he's unsure now, he'll be unsure again in the future. Bye bye to him, you don't need that crap.
deleted_user
If he's having second thoughts now when he supposedly loves you, how will he feel 2, 5 or even 10 years from now if you get married? Cut your losses, the pain will be far worse if you get married and have children with a man who may not be around for long.
deleted_user
I am sorry you are feeling hurt and confused. Actions speak louder than words. He is saying he loves you and wants to be with you but not following through. You should move on now, before you end up in a marriage destined for divorce. I know it is not easy to end a long term relationship, but it sounds like it is the right thing to do for you. Good luck!
deleted_user
Thank you all very much. You are helping me back up on my feet. After the blow I was delivered last night I was unclear and now I'm getting back to where I was before he called. I can not thank you enough.
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