Well, I just joined this community today and have been apart of the infidelity community for awhile. I am just so depressed and hurt I can hardly control myself. My soon to be ex cheated on me numerous times and produced a child with his current whatever you may call her. He has been visiting her at least once a month (cross country flight) while distancing himself from our children (2 beautiful boys). I am so lonely and sad right now and feel as if no one knows what I am going through. I guess I am in a state where my life has peaked at the ripe old age of 32. I was married for 10 years and was completely devoted through all of it. My divorce will most likely be final this coming May. How can a person jump from one person to another and live with themselves. I am sure they are planning marriage the day the divorce is final. Of course she is married as well and is in the process of destroying her husband. Somehow I have become the devil in this whole mess. What is wrong with people? How could they possibly convince themselves that they were in the right? The most agonizing thought is how could I have possibly stayed with a man like this for so long. More horrible is the stupid dreams (while asleep) of him begging to come back and me allowing it. What is wrong with me? I want to be happy but fear I will never be again.
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