I confronted the first OM (first of 4 or 5 or 6, I'm loosing count) and he obviously denied everything. Called the STBX a "crazy bitch" for saying it despite all the proof I had. He was trying to protect himself because he was engaged.

But anyhoo - it doesn't help. You really don't feel any better for it, they'll either deny it to the ends of the earth or go off and attack you (either verbally or physically). So it's really a no win situation.

I know how difficult it is to try and swallow our pride and move on, but that's really what you need to do. Good luck Kelly. {{{ hugs }}} for you

I was confronted once by the other women, because my ex was breaking up with her because he said he missed me and wanted to work things out with me. It was very awkward. I don't think you should though. If she is a married women having an affair with a married man, then she doesn't think she is doing anything wrong and talking to her might just make you feel worse.

Last time we separated, he found someone and when we decided to reconcile, he didn't want to tell her (didn't want to hurt her). He figured she would get the picture and go away or others would tell her I was back (coward!). Anyhow, she called my house one day and I very calmly explained to her that we had reconciled and that the week he said he was sick, he was with me and that I also knew that every time I left, he called her and lied. His mom was staying at my house so she helped the lies because she was hoping it didn't work out with me. I was the cheater but he was not since he met her after I moved out (whatever).

Back to your question, IT will help you feel better ONLY if you can calmly and rationally speak to her, if you end up and a screaming horrible fight, she will be "convinced" that you are the horrible witch your husband told her you were. It's kind of bittersweet because she may make you feel worse. If she is married, it will create hearbreak to her children who don't deserve it.

Good luck

Thought about it, figured it wasn't worth my breath (or hand writing cramps)....she obviously doesn't care he's married and he didn't care he was married---so I decided to just move on (after I made multiple attempts to reconcile without any energy from him)

I DEFINITELY thought about this throughout the unraveling of our marriage. He insisted they were just "Friends" and maybe they just are - but she KNEW what their relationship was doing to our marriage and yet she continued to rely on him for support. She left her husband and depended on him to talk to her, hold her, help her move out (twice) - without considering me. I wanted to call and ask her to PLEASE back off - woman to woman. Depend on some other friend, turn to her mother, anyone but my husband while we were falling apart. I finally decided that it would do no good. Obviously she didn't feel that what she was doing was wrong - she wasn't thinking of me at all and I'm convinced that nothing I said to her would make that happen. I feel your pain though - good luck and let us know what you decide.

My ex left me also for a married woman with children. He was not her first nor her only present and not her last either.
I confronted her many times, by phone, in person, text msg. We knew each other prior to her getting inbetween us.
I contacted her husband and that stopped her for a while.
The final straw was when my ex confessed his love for her and I along with everyone else knew she didn't feel the same, she had no intentions of ever leaving her family, she just used men to get things.
She has since moved on to another state, another city new men, new families to ruin, this new city is a college town also, plenty of males to keep her occupied.

I found out H had been seeing ow for at least 3 mos before he moved out.After the first month, he and I had sex everday for a week.I called her at work and told her.She and he showed up at his office(where I was)She stayed with him anyway.I stopped by his office one day when I noticed her car there.(He is self-employed and I own half of the business-although I am not allowed to go there)I went in and for 2 hrs told her everything I thought about her and him.She is 12 yrs younger, and looks my age.She is about 30-40 lbs heavier.I told her I was better looking, better body, nicer hair, smarter? and that she was a fool if she thought anything was going to come of this.I loved it.After that one, I never felt the need to see her again.It was something I needed to do.

Well, I know the lovely Princess Diana once confronted the notorious whore Camilla Parker Bowles, and Diana said she felt very empowered by it and it helped her release of a lot of rage.

She simply needed to assert her existence and say, I am not stupid, I know what is going on.

I think you should do what you need to do for yourself, and take care not to confuse cowardice with the high road.

If I ever confront the ow it's going to be to tell her that even though I think she's a home wrecking drug addict witch who can't even have unsupervised visitation with her first two children, THANKS for taking the cheating jerk off of my hands so I could find a REAL relationship based on mutual respect....sorry she has to have the "cheating" stigma on her relationship and to NOT to come crying to me when he starts in on her about getting a job and not having any money. Good luck with that one...you got yourself a REAL prize! LOL! But since I have no intention of EVER speaking to her, I won't be saying any of these things. :)

What would the point be? It isn't going to bring him back,repair the damage or fix the marriage. Don't lower yourself or your standards by stooping to their low levels. You are better than that.She is a grown woman, she doesn't need your explanations, she knew what she was getting into, and probably won't welcome anything from you. It will probably make you look bad and you won't feel better if you do it...

The OM actually called said he had some "questions" for me. Well I told the bastard that I didn't want to talk to him. I figured it was pointless and wouldnt serve any useful purpose, just bring me down.

After a few minutes I called him back and gave him everything i have been wanting to say to that snake son-of-a-bitch.

Yea it did make me feel better and I was able to release alot of the RAGE that was in me. better than living the rest of my life knowing the idiot doesn't know how i truly feel.

Btw i didn't give him a chance to ask whatever "questions' he had and i am not the least bit curious of what that pond scum had to say.

Good for you, paulbear.

This is what I mean. If it makes you feel better: DO IT!

Kelly, just let it go. You have already been hurt, and telling a cheating lying b that she is a cheating lying b isn't going to do anything but get you more upset. She will get hers when the time comes.

Many years ago when I was 18 years old, I married my high school sweetheart--he was my world--so it came as a complete surprise when he came home one day and said that he was leaving. I thought he meant he was going back to work (since it seemed like he had been working alot of overtime lately) so I said okay, I'll just keep you dinner warm for when you get home. He literallyhad to sit me down and explain, No, he was leaving ME! I was crushed needless to say.

It turned out that he was seeing a woman that was on a social committee with him at work. When I originaly asked my husband who he was leaving me for, he would not tell me. I kept asking and said that he owed at least that much to me and the children to know who has destroyed our lives along with him. He finally told me on the condition that i do not call her or cause HER any problems. I promised. My husband knew that I would never break a promise so he told me who she was.

I ran into that wonderful "lady" at a company function (while my husband and I were trying to reconcile). She was bold enough to come up to me and say hello, fully well knowing I knew who she was. She was far from a lady. Well, the reconciliation didn't work and he was still seeing her on the side. He announced he was leaving for good to be with her--she and him were very much in love. When my husband left and told her they could finally be together she panicked! Turns out this woman was also married and she had no intention on leaving her husband--he gave her a very nice life style that she wasn't ready to leave...I saw this woman later and she begged me NOT to tell her husband what went on between her and my husband. I thought she sure had alot of nerve considering how her (and my husband's actions) changed my family's life forever--but you know what? I just looked at her and said, "Unlike you, I keep my word to my husband and although I feel sorry for yours that he is involved with you, I will not say anything to him--he will find out all on his own in due time--and the loss will be all yours, not his...You re the lowest form of a human being and you will feel the pain someday that you have inflicted on my family...what goes around comes around.

I actually felt good that I never said anything. I felt like a lady when all was said and done. She was nothing a worthless human being that didn't deserve any more of my attention.

From what I've heard, my husband over the years has regretted his actions, but it is too late, there could never be any trust between us. My biggest regret is that my children although now grown were hurt deeply by this.

When STBX broke up w/ OW, I talked to her once. Gave her a piece of advice, "Don't play w/ married men, they are not done w/ what they have at home".

It was very upsetting & empowering. I was proud of myself because I did not cuss or say hateful thing, just gave her the truth right between the eyes.

But it did not accomplish a thing. He is still on the way out.

Think long & hard, then do what you feel like you need to do FOR YOURSELF! I personally needed this.