Definitely do the school if it is what you want to do. You don't want to compromise yourself for what he wants. Just because you have reconciled doesn't mean you should bend every which way he tells you to!! Eventually you will break.

Explain ALIMONY to him...he will loosen up the wallet.

STBX sat down and calmly told the Mediator that I knew how to use a computer and sew-He shouldn't have to "pay" for me to go to school.

The Mediator told him that he had made a Grave Error in that Thought Pattern.

Tami, I live in TX & if we do get a divorce, I haven't been with him "long enough" to get alimony. We've only been married 2 1/2 years. :(

ok men, I would like your "imput" on this too, PLEASE!~!

GRRRRRRRR, NOT imput....... "INPUT"!

My stbx also wanted me to be educated and financially independant, just in case something ever happened to him. I don't think he's all that crazy about how things turned out. I just got my undergrad degree this last June and I now make almost as much money as he does. I don't need him anymore. So yes, GO TO SCHOOL AND GET YOUR EDUCATION!!! You won't regret it.

Catfisher, do I remember correctly he wanted you to quit your last job because it kept you away from home too much?

Cat.... if he truly wants you to be self-supportive and completely independent... than what better way to be that, than by making your own decision here. Maybe that will show him and you that you are in fact just that. I would question.... if he isn't happy about you making a decision like this for yourself.... does he really want what he says he wants, or does he want to keep his finger on you? food for thought. *hugs*

something I don't understand. He wants you to be independent and self-reliant but doesn't want you to work from home? So he wants you to get an outside job?

Regarding schooling.

- Check with the local community college. If you can manage to get there, you can probably get an applied certificate in a related field for less than the 4,000.

- Consider taking a student loan. Explain to him that this course will help you make more money and you want to take the loan and pay it yourself. How can he argue against that?

Oh, and if you're more comfortable doing schooling from home, check out the online colleges. I started at the University of Phoenix, but switched to Baker College of Michigan. I'm very happy with my education and I was able to do it on my schedule, not the schools schedule.

what about a pro con list to show him. are there benefits to do this program and work from home. there is a difference of opinion between you two and thats ok, healthy. but you don't want the tension. you'd like the support here, even if he disapproves. we don't always have to like what our partner is doing. but it should not be a constant fight.

Cat, online for-profit colleges like UoP, Axia, WIU (any Apollo Group, Inc. college) are a nightmare and cost WAY too much. You could probably find a community college where you can get the same training for $40-50 a credit. Too learn more about UoP, go to www.uopexperience.com. There's a NYTimes article by Sam Dillon. The company is undergoing a LOT of lawsuits and their degree is looking shaky, to say the least.

The community colleges have the best programs and they will get you the skills you need to continue in your education, if you later want to get a bachelor's degree. I live in the Phoenix Metropolitan area. Here, Rio Salado Community College has an OUTSTANDING reputation with its online classes. Plus, you can always switch to a ground campus and, here, even take classes at a different county college and transfer them in without a problem.

Furthermore, community colleges have "articulation" agreements with universities. You can ask your community college advisor (VERY helpful) who the college has these agreements with - these "articulation" agreements guarantee that your classes will transfer and help you complete a bachelors more quickly.

As a graduate, student and advisor, I would be more than happy to help you with any other questions you might have about college. Exploring all the options is just that start of the fun part! :) "

I always wanted to do carpentry. After my bachelors degree, I went back to college to get an associates in Carpentry. Plus, after 911, I couldn't find any marketing work (work was SO scarce then, in general) and my BA allowed me to substitute teach. Instead, I got an offer to become emergency certified and received a full-time teacher's salary. Meanwhile, Rio Salado and some of the other colleges allow a program for people with non-teaching degrees which allows us to complete half our MASTER'S credits AT THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE (can you believe that?! dirt cheap!) and *then* finish at the university. The classes could also been done online, at our pace, mostly. So I accelerated them and did the tested for each class on the same day (because you get flexibility on testing dates as well). You have real teachers who are licensed and helpful. It was pretty amazing and made it easy to go from a bachelor's to a master's and CHEAPLY!

Talk to the schools around you and, remember, you can always talk to me, too! :)