Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My first post, awwww.
First off, forgive me for any incoherences that this post will most likely be plagued with. Also, I feel really bad making a post when I have not contributed to any others yet. But I guess this a reach out, when I'm not one to reach out, so feel special haha.
So this is the aniversary of when I found my girlfriend of 2 years, by blind chance, making out with one of my friends in his car, when I confronted them and the situation escalated, believe me it escalated, I found out that they had run off to vegas and got married 3 days earlier. strike of lightning for a 19yr old, I'll tell you what. I could go into details how she was my first love and the love of my life. But thats just the backstory.
Fast Forward 6 years....
after many failed attempts to cross that bridge of forgiveness with my love, many dead end relationships, I few good ones that slipped through, disaster dates, great dates and a sprinkle of regrettable one night stands. I scraped what was left and committed to myself a healthy single life. Plans as anyone knows are subject to forces of nature. And she was everything I wanted beautiful, intelligent, funny, honest, compassionate, dark eyes, dark hair. paint a pretty enough picture?=)except for one problem, I was 24 and she was 19,(ok 18 and then turned 19 a month into seeing her, for the sake of accuracy), And it started over a mixtape of all things.
Six monthes go by all the time, but there was a before and there sadly is now an after. That was 5 monthes ago. And its like ropes twisting in my stomache, I ran into her at a restaurant with her new boyfriend and her parents who were the key factor in the breakuplast night(want to know how it happened? watch The Notebook, its a play by play).
The last 5 monthes have been hell for me, and hear goes that parts that nobody knows about..... I have been dealing with depression since I've had concsious thoughts, I'm scared to tell people how deep my heart hurts. i know I'm a fool, I for one should know how quick things can change at 19.
But its not about that, its about how I feel helpless to circumstance.
Its about how I'm not strong enough to keep those that I love close.
Its about how basically how broken I am.
Its about how hard I work to not be damaged goods, yet I'm exactly where I once was.
I have made a plan to work hard and make myself better at everything and to empower myself. Yet plans for me is ironic just in the thought. I have never been this down and I have been down, trust me.
I cant sleep, I randomly cry and whats funny is you would never know. There is a side of me that no one sees and no one ever will. I'm shouting from the depths of me and the only thing that comes up is latest basketball scores. There's so much more, but bambling was never my thing.... okay so a little.
If you read this, thanks for taking the time. I really couldn't have asked for more.
First off, forgive me for any incoherences that this post will most likely be plagued with. Also, I feel really bad making a post when I have not contributed to any others yet. But I guess this a reach out, when I'm not one to reach out, so feel special haha.
So this is the aniversary of when I found my girlfriend of 2 years, by blind chance, making out with one of my friends in his car, when I confronted them and the situation escalated, believe me it escalated, I found out that they had run off to vegas and got married 3 days earlier. strike of lightning for a 19yr old, I'll tell you what. I could go into details how she was my first love and the love of my life. But thats just the backstory.
Fast Forward 6 years....
after many failed attempts to cross that bridge of forgiveness with my love, many dead end relationships, I few good ones that slipped through, disaster dates, great dates and a sprinkle of regrettable one night stands. I scraped what was left and committed to myself a healthy single life. Plans as anyone knows are subject to forces of nature. And she was everything I wanted beautiful, intelligent, funny, honest, compassionate, dark eyes, dark hair. paint a pretty enough picture?=)except for one problem, I was 24 and she was 19,(ok 18 and then turned 19 a month into seeing her, for the sake of accuracy), And it started over a mixtape of all things.
Six monthes go by all the time, but there was a before and there sadly is now an after. That was 5 monthes ago. And its like ropes twisting in my stomache, I ran into her at a restaurant with her new boyfriend and her parents who were the key factor in the breakuplast night(want to know how it happened? watch The Notebook, its a play by play).
The last 5 monthes have been hell for me, and hear goes that parts that nobody knows about..... I have been dealing with depression since I've had concsious thoughts, I'm scared to tell people how deep my heart hurts. i know I'm a fool, I for one should know how quick things can change at 19.
But its not about that, its about how I feel helpless to circumstance.
Its about how I'm not strong enough to keep those that I love close.
Its about how basically how broken I am.
Its about how hard I work to not be damaged goods, yet I'm exactly where I once was.
I have made a plan to work hard and make myself better at everything and to empower myself. Yet plans for me is ironic just in the thought. I have never been this down and I have been down, trust me.
I cant sleep, I randomly cry and whats funny is you would never know. There is a side of me that no one sees and no one ever will. I'm shouting from the depths of me and the only thing that comes up is latest basketball scores. There's so much more, but bambling was never my thing.... okay so a little.
If you read this, thanks for taking the time. I really couldn't have asked for more.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I know your story... I know the feelings of worthlessness...
I can honestly tell you that One person doesn't agree with you, even if the whole world may...
Jesus wants to make your life whole. He wants to stand by your side and strengthen you as you go. Life doesn't get better, but it becomes better to deal with. he gives you strenght when you have none left...
He is why i can stand here and say that I'm content. In the midst of a failing and possibly dead marriage, single parenthood, bad work situation and horrible life, I can say that i am content because HE is my portion and He is my provider and He has redeemed me.
"I am the Redeemed of the Lord, And I will Say so!!"
I hope you are. Good luck.
We turned our little romance into a marriage and a life.
My depressive tendencies, and my need to occasionally wallow in them, eventually ruined what we had.
I always knew I had to fix my life, my marriage, just everyday was never the right time.
I recommend taking time to make yourself happy, rather than just lay your problems on other people to solve.
Explore your interests, get counselling, take care of yourself.
If I would have asked her to help instead of saying "fix it for me" , things may have gone very differently.
But hey, I have been wrong about a lot of things lately. Good luck.
I too have been very depressed, my health is in trouble as a doctor pointed out that my stress is causing me to battle.....
My heart is broken.........
So it's never easy......
But keep posting; journal in a private journal; read books, take a walk, or hit the gym; force yourself to do what you want to do....and avoid some folks that were mutual friends.
I have avoided some people that know my stbx. I don't want to hear about him; or his gf. or his successes......
I hope you find your happiness! I hope that you are okay.....surround yourself with love, care, support, and positive people....stay away from those who are mean, negative, and want to falter you and not allow you to succeed.
Hugs to you!!! Take care!
Please, that is what you need to work on. You have so much life ahead of you. but, before you are going to find true joy, you will need help coping with the disease of Depression. Hugs and all the best to you.
Yes. All the time.
It takes some time.
I can't tell you why one breakup seems worse than others. Maybe something you said, she was everything that you wanted.
My last breakup, I felt the same way. She was what I thought I wanted and needed.
But if I have a hard look back, there were some big flaws with her and out relationship that I ignored for the sake of being happy.
I have had a chance to get to know some women over the last two years that I would have never thought I would get to know.
During this time I have come to appreciate what they have to offer.
But getting past the pain has been very difficult. But time has been my best friend.
Thats why I said watch your journals. When you look back you will see progress.
Whether we would like to stop the clock and go back we can't. This will make us better, somehow when we survive this pain it can make us stronger and better.
YOu have a whole lotta life to live yet, and you will ba amazed at some of the things coming your way yet.
Peace..
so when I wrote that I finally fell asleep, now I'm up 4 hours later, more then last night I suppose, point is its nice to wake up to some support for once haha.
To answer a couple of questions, I have seen a doctor who was like "yep, your clinically depressed, that'll be 150 dollars and a prescription." I'm like wow, thanks for the update dumbass. I dont want to take suppressents, so I never did. I want to deal with that stuff. Anyways I would like another doctor or therapist, but financially thats not really an option.
RMSlk, I do believe in Jesus, with all my heart. But like I said I have been depressed forever and thats has been in the church and outside it, it doesnt discriminate.
EastcoastAJ, I've never had the 'fix it for me' attitude, like I said no one sees this side of me, I'm sure it comes out alot of ways. But know ones how deep it runs, especcially not the most beautiful person I know. I am interested in your story though, sounds familiar haha, so have you worked it out?
thanks everybody.
exactly.
what I want more then anything is to be able to choose something and for it to stick. Every decision I make seems like its destined to fail. I'm no idiot, I consider myself highly intelligent. Yet I see guys with the smarts of a 4th grader keep a girlfriend haha. I just want a life that I choose, not a life coursed by circumstance.
My difference is that I HAD to get out. If I didn't the violence would have escalated at some point and it might have been my life on the line not just who I was.
It has taken a long long time... It will take a long long time for you too... but you have to at some point stand up, dust yourself off and take that next step. I don't mean find another relationship. But maybe find a hobby that you love, or travel. something - anything that keeps you occupied and happy.
You are a young guy and you will survive. Please take care and you will find your peace... :)
Tara